I am amazed sometimes at how people can chronologically age but their maturity and concern for others seems to have gotten stuck in neutral somewhere back in their teen years.
How can she call herself a parent and yet choose to flat out ignore the damage her choices have on her kids? By her own admission she chooses to be completely self-focused without regard for the unnecessary burdens her words place on their shoulders.
Amazed, for all the wrong reasons, you tried to explain to her how unfair and harmful it was to them and all she could say was, "I don't care. They should know. It's my house and I'll say whatever I want to them."
They walk around spouting comments that they couldn't have dreamed up in their wildest imaginations, with information they shouldn't be privy to EVER, and it's easy to conclude exactly what's being said inside those four walls.
She can't handle the pressures that life deals sometimes, doesn't want to actually take on the responsibility that she should because it would require too much effort, so she chooses to lay those pressures at the feet of her children so that they can be sucked into her adult world. What happened to the premise that parents are supposed to PROTECT their children, not treat them as one of their friends or confidantes? You know, friends... those adult people whom you CAN and SHOULD vent to when things get tough?
Who is the adult here, anyway? Are you raising your kids or are they raising you?
What happened to parents letting their children lead child-like lives and shielding them from all the CRAP that will eventually land at their doorstep anyway as they get older?
Oh, but wait... that would mean that she would have to get past herself and realize that they are her children, not her sounding boards.