Tuesday, May 24, 2011

what a difference a weekend makes

48 little hours brought about huge change.
They instantly changed the scope of our summer.
And the possibility of different futures for two of our kids.

One child made a temporary choice for the "greener grass".
The other made a team that opens the door of the unknown.
One broke hearts.
The other possibly broke open his future.
One left us asking, "What now?"
The other has left me asking, "Is this really THE answer or just an option?"
For one, we're praying that this season will bring perspective.
The other? Definitive clarity.
For one, we made a tough decision now.
The other, that tough decision doesn't have to be made just yet.
For one, we need God to intervene and change hearts through healing.
The other, we need God to answer the question of His Will.

Two life courses changed in 48 hours.
Both are temporary.
Nothing yet set in stone.
But the possible changes that lay right around the corner for both have me writing this blog at 2:30am; unable to shut off my brain and just rest.
Too many questions swirling around.
Not enough answers.
Not yet, anyway.

what a difference a weekend makes.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


That's how I feel today ... blah. I think I'm 'coming down' and feeling the full effects; coming down from a month that was crazier, busier & more emotional than any I can remember in a really long time.

A snapshot of my past 45 days:
4 days of intensely overwhelming God time at Pink Impact.
Followed by the first news of Heather's final battle with cancer.
Followed by 3 days of a full body rash and fatigue due to the Rubella virus.
Followed by a surprise ticket to fly out to Cali with Coli to spend time with Heather.
Followed by cramming present home school with future home school prep in my absence.
Followed by 4 days without my husband.
Followed immediately by my trip to Cali.
Which included 3 days of laughter, family and memories.
Followed by a gut-wrenching, never-want-to-do-something-like-this-again good-bye.
Followed by a weekend Anniversary get-away.
Including another surprise ticket to Cali for Coli and I to attend Heather's expected memorial.
Followed by a day of family, Easter and Welcome Home, Jason!
Followed by "Good-bye, Teighlor" for 10 days.
Followed by a birthday I forgot (mine) but my family remembered in full.
Followed by a few days to plan, pack & prepare for another trip to Cali.
Including Anthony's week of DC11.
And the kids' week with Jason while I was in Cali with Coli and Anthony at DC11.
Followed by 6 days away from home for Cali.
Including Mother's Day.
Including Heather's Memorial.
Including the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.
Including Wolfgang Puck Pizza at the Denver Airport.
Followed by a Friday full of catch-up.
And a weekend of family, baseball, laundry, and unpacking.
Followed by a Monday of planning Anthony's birthday.
Followed by a full Tuesday of baking, cooking, and house prep of black balloons, etc. for an Over-the-Hill birthday dinner.
Followed by today...

I feel like my body is exhaling ... and with that, I just feel BLAH.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Birthday #44

With all that's been going on the past few weeks ... from 4 days of Pink Impact, to 3 days of Rubella sickness that followed; to an unexpected 4-day trip to California, followed by a weekend of Anniversary celebration at the Gaylord; and then capped off with a family gathering for Easter and a "welcome home" for Jason ... my birthday kind of crept up on me and, honestly, would have passed by without notice [by me] had it not been for family.

I actually woke up last Tuesday and began planning my day, the meal I would cook since we had the girls for dinner and the list of things I would be accomplishing that day after having come off those incredibly busy weeks.

And then Alec walked out of his room and said, "Happy Birthday!", to which I replied, "What?"

Yep, it didn't even register even though I was being given birthday wishes.

The day unexpectedly unfolded with a lunch date to Cheesecake Factory with Coli, J and Alec, where we noshed on the ever predictable avocado egg rolls and pear endive salad, followed by an intake of unnatural caloric mass presented in the form of original NY cheesecake. Before we said good-bye, I thanked them for my "you know my heart" tree painting gift that will one day soon be framed and hung in my tree-themed bedroom.

The rest of the afternoon was filled with game playing with Alec ... Farkle, Sequence and Chinese Checkers. I lost at Farkle but crowned myself Queen of Sequence and Chinese Checkers.

When Hubby came home with the girls, we set out for [more] food at The Olive Garden. I couldn't remember the last time I ate dinner there, so it sounded like a good choice to me. Stuffed mushrooms, endless salad and breadsticks with alfredo dipping sauce filled to capacity my still-full-from-lunch belly, but I gladly endured for the sake of celebration. ;)

And today--I really can't tell you HOW I missed it--I found this poem from my Groom buried within the volume of emails I set to clean out of my inbox today after weeks of "I'll tackle that tomorrow":

Born today, the first of two
My bride-to-be was really you
California still in your heart
But Texas is our place to start
I'm thankful to have you at my side
Your smile, your laugh, your love - my pride
Several years have since gone by
But your beauty still catches my eye
I love your heart, your depth, your truth
Your fun and joy reveal your youth
So happy day, this one, your birth
Matchless and limitless is your worth

Lub lub, Your Groom

For a day that started out with a brain full of dinner plans and to-do lists, it ended up being all about family, food and games ... three of my favorite things!

Me with the 17 pieces of Happy Birthday art Teighlor made for me ahead of time since she was going to be in California. I, of course, saved them cuz it's the heart behind any gift that means everything to me. 

The tree painting I received from Coli and J ... my heart gift.