Tuesday, July 19, 2011

my little [pinkheart]

there are moments when GOD reaches out his hand and reminds me [who] he is in such unexpected ways. this morning, he did just that.

as i sat here, ready to write down my moment with GOD, i realized i'd never taken the time to write down my [pinkheart] transformation from pink impact back in april. so much was going on with heather that by the time life settled my pink memories were tucked safely inside my pink journal.

without going into the full story behind my [pinkheart] transformation, which will become its own blog very soon, i'll just state that GOD opened the heavens and poured love into me, transforming my gray heart of stone into a pink heart of flesh; not flesh as in 'walking in the flesh' but flesh as in 'no longer hard and closed but now soft and open'.

yesterday i was wrestling with doubt and fear. they sabotaged me in the form of "giants in the promised land". i was focused on what my eyes could see instead of what my GOD has promised me. my husband, seeing those pesky critters (doubt and fear), reminded me of the giants in the promised land and spoke right to my unwanted visitors.

side note: this is a part of marriage that i love, love, love! GOD knows that a primary benefit of joining one+one {twogether} is that when {one} is stumbling around, the {other one} is available to pick them up. yesterday, my {other one} did just that.

this morning, still feeling the remnants of my wrestling match, i decided to soak in some worship music. forgetting to make my next song choice before my current song was over, my shuffler landed on [you are for me]. i sat back, closed my eyes and just let the music wash over me. as the lyric "even if to write upon my heart" was sung, i asked GOD what he wanted to write on my heart today. not knowing what to expect, he opened my spiritual eyes and showed me this:

he reached out his hand and with his finger he wrote on my little [pinkheart] the word: FAITHFUL. as the song continued, he wrote the words: patient, gracious, merciful, true and wonderful; one on top of the other. the chorus began again and as the lyrics wound their way to "i know that you will never forsake me in my weakness", GOD won the race to my flesh and covered me with himself just before I could steal his moment away with guilt over yesterday's weakness. and when i say he covered me, he kinda literally did.

still seeing my [pinkheart], GOD reached out both hands, wrapped them behind my heart and then ... well, he brought his cheek down and pulled my heart to his cheek. and then he just nuzzled it--my little [pinkheart]--like a child would nuzzle their favorite stuffed animal close to their cheek. i was this close to becoming consumed by yesterday's weakness, but GOD invaded that moment and, with purpose, overwhelmed me with such tender affection.

yes, he was well aware of my weakness, but that's not what he was focusing on. my flesh wanted to rid itself of the condemnation of doubt and fear. GOD came to love on me; knowing that by doing so, he wasn't just removing fear and doubt, he was filling me with himself.

this act of my daddy so sweetly loving his little girl caught me off guard. i was overcome with sobs of gratefulness, knowing he could have just forgiven me for my weakness--which wouldn't have been wrong--and i would have felt better ... but GOD went far beyond my expectations ... he wrote [who] he is on my little [pinkheart].

2 comments:

  1. There are no words. I mean, I am just sitting here blinking. That God moment you had was just on another level. He nuzzled your heart. I wish you could have TVOed your vision so I could watch it. ;)

    {OTHER ONE} = cutest term! Such a good reminder to lean on J when I am well aware I can't stand.

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  2. I'm consumed with love by this vision of Father's hands on your heart. Captivating.

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