Monday, July 18, 2011

HOW bad do you want it?

That's a question that looms in front of anything and everything that doesn't come easily. It's a question I am [seriously] considering as I choose to post this blog.

HOW bad do i want it?
a little bad?
a lot bad?
i'm willing to sacrifice whatever-it-takes bad?

Today is Monday. Although technicalists (my word) will tell you the new week begins on Sunday, Monday is my mindset ... and I'm sticking to it. Lying ahead of me is a new week. A new beginning. A new opportunity for choice.

God has this unique way of showing me things through a perspective that makes sense to me (as he does with all of us, but I'm only writing about me here). He finds out-of-the-box ways to push motivation towards me. It's my choice whether or not I grab hold.

I was in my closet and this idea hit me upside the head. Randomly. Well, a God-sort-of-randomosity, anyway.

I've been looking for a way to show myself how my body has changed in just four--yep, JUST 4--short years of marriage. Older photos show me [how] I looked in 2007, but they didn't give me perspective ... a then and now sort of glimpse. Well, this morning, God changed that through a photo idea. Here it is:

Jeans: Then and Now! 

The pair of jeans on top are the ones I wore during my first year of marriage. The jeans below them are the ones I wear now ... four years later and 25lbs heavier. Talk about not being able to avoid perspective. This photo leaves zero room for me being able to tell myself, "You haven't changed [that] much". Bull-pucky!

And this is how I looked in my "skinny" jeans:

Although I'm no size 4 and NEVER will be (and I'll never fight to be cuz that's not me), this me is not out of reach and is way more healthy than the current me. I tried the skinny jeans on and could just barely squeeze them over my hips. Don't even ask me about the button and zipper.

This is me now. Obese? No. Overweight? Definitely. Unhealthy? Most importantly!

No glitz. No glamour. Just real life.

Done up and still can't hide it.

So, to keep those pairs of jeans from hanging in my kitchen as a morbid reminder of where I am and an extreme motivation of what I need to get back to--cuz it's not really practical hanging jeans on your kitchen wall--I'm gonna get that sucker printed and put 1 copy on my fridge door, 1 in my closet, 1 in the pantry, 1 in my bedroom (by the workout DVD's) and 1 in my wallet ... for all those times when I want to indulge myself when away from mi casa.

Yesterday I jotted down a note from this weekend's message: "Truth REQUIRES Responsibility". Once you have the truth it's your choice what you do with it, but God [never] reveals truth for us to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear ... or relax on our couch and feed our faces when our bathroom scale continues to climb.

This truth? I've been lazy and indulgent. [Age has played its part, there's no doubt about that, but many have come up against age and won the war. My battle is no different.] Neither of these attributes are found listed in the fruits of the Spirit or spoken when referencing Jesus, which means (to me) that I've disrespected my God by disrespecting the body He gave me. No condemnation. Just conviction. It's my responsibility to take care of what He gave me.

If I was [this] lazy with my marriage, I'd be divorced. If I was [this] lazy as a parent, I'd have rebellious, out of control kids. Both are given to me by God to take care of. What gave me the right to remove [my body] from that list?

LAZINESS & INDULGENCE ... that's what!

God gave me an idea to take a photo that would (finally) reveal the unavoidable truth. I'm not whining about it. I'm happy He did it. Cuz He knows how to motivate me.

1 comment:

  1. You keep it real! Gosh, I just love that about you bestie! Beyond that, your determination is totally motivating to me. I feel recharged by your words to go after my own body goals.