Thursday, July 28, 2011

Are We Listening?

Yesterday, I "randomly" came across a blog I had written about Heather's cancer [remission] from August of last year, and wrote a blog to attach to it: Miracles, Forever and Freedom Words.

As I read through my blog written yesterday, HolySpirit brought back a memory of a conversation I had with my Bestie ... I think it was in the airport as we waited for our flight home from Heather's memorial trip. We talked about Heather's service: the volume of people who attended, the feelings from having conversations with people from our past, the diversity in the people who chose to speak during her service ... but mostly we talked about [what] was said about Heather from everyone who stood at the mic that day.

Heather {lived life}. With every person. During every season. Through every up and every down. Even down to her life's last minutes.

We talked about what made Heather different from so many others, including ourselves. Why did she have such a gusto for life? What was it that drove Heather to run after life so as not to miss a single second of what it had to offer?

We speculated that maybe it was woven into her DNA because God knew before she was created that her life span was not going to be as long as she, and those she loved, assumed it would be. No one considers dying young. But maybe her spirit, not bound by time and the restrictions of the physical, was born knowing and spurred her forward without her ever realizing it? I don't know. I can't say for sure. 

But what I do know is this: Every person that spoke of Heather spoke of her {living life} to its fullest. 

I remember being stirred in my soul to walk away from Heather's memorial determined to {live life}. It's not that I never have. On the contrary, I think bost my Bestie and I can attest to the plethora of ways--simple and filled with laughter and isms--that we've enjoyed life ... even the tiniest and, what some would call, the most insignificant moments. But I, and she, still wondered if those we know and who love us would say we {lived life} in a way that inspired them?

And maybe that's what my spirit is stirring to today. It's not that I think I haven't {lived life}, but have I lived it in a way that would inspire others to live out loud? Do I really take hold of the concept of enjoying every part of it? Have I learned to pause after even the most seemingly unimportant moment and think about what I just lived in it? 

Yesterday I questioned my perspective on [today miracles] and whether I really celebrate them or not. Heather did. She went to Europe and the Bahamas on her [today miracle].

Today Heather's life is causing me to question my perspective on living ... REALLY {living life}. Do I? Or do I let too many days go by simply existing within my norm as I wait--consciously or subconsciously--for the "next great moment" that's worthy of remembering?

A partial sentence from a blog I read last week has stuck with me since my eyes came in contact with the words: "...EVERY bit of life you've experienced is worth a mention."

Nine simple words. Yet they felt like a sucker-punch to my heart. I know I don't look at life like this. I know the to-do's, the unexpected changes and even the day-to-day routines of life are constantly pulling minutes away from the moments God has arranged for me to experience, build a memory on and mention. 

Can I learn to slow myself down in my thoughts and in my heart so as not to miss "a single second of what life has to offer"? I want to. I need to. And I will. *declaration*

Like purposing to write [here] so that I don't miss what God wants to say to me when He has my thoughts undivided, or so that I don't miss capturing a memory for life in black and white, I must purpose to see life as HolySpirit does. Yes...that resonates with me. Whether our spirit knows our individual lifespans to be shorter than we expect or longer than maybe we even desire, HolySpirit is constantly speaking to it [our spirit] ... to us. And I believe HolySpirit is constantly speaking: {live life}.

Maybe the real question is ... are we listening?


  1. I come back to her memorial and this conversation all the time! I don't feel ready to blog it yet which makes me extra glad you did. There is so much I could comment but I think you've heard it all. So I will just join you in the pursuit to {live life}. So thankful we have one another to do that with, bestie.

  2. Props to Rach for that thought to ponder on, right?