Friday, July 1, 2011

Looking Backwards and Forwards on 2011

It's July 1st. That means that one-half of this year, 2011, is already over. That's crazy to me. To be completely cliche' ... where did the time go?

I love time markers, although I haven't always been this way. The usual suspects never passed me by--birthdays and anniversaries--but I find myself now being much more aware of time than I ever was. A sign of getting older? Maybe. Possibly. [probably]. Whatever the reason, my life is now marked by many more things like seasons, holidays, and even this ... one-half of a year gone (to the day).

Maybe the fact that half of my life is behind me (give or take a few years?) propels me towards taking inventory of the events that are in my rear-view mirror and those that sit out in front of me. Whatever the reason, today is July 1st. You know what that means?  One-half of this year is already over. ;)

Back in December God gave me a promise for Anthony and I (and our family) for 2011:

This is what God says, the God who builds a road right through the ocean, who carves a path through pounding waves.
The God who summons horses and chariots and armies—they lie down and then can't get up; they're snuffed out like so many candles:
"Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the desert and rivers in the badlands."
~ Isaiah 43:16-21 [The Message]

Back then I vowed to memorize it and speak it over every situation, over every obstacle, over every fulfillment. Needless to say that hasn't quite happened, and it's unfortunate that I can state that there are times when I down right forgot about this promise in the midst of turmoil or selfish moments. But I'm so thankful, even as I write this, that the God I love and serve is much more giving than my selfish moments and more faithful than my faithless moments.

"Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history", He says to me.

Hmmm, I think back to Pink Impact and realize that He paved the way for this in my marriage. He made a way for me to humble myself before my husband, ask forgiveness for all I had held onto, and then vow to move forward with the past behind us. Craftily, the enemy of my soul constantly tries to remind me of what I chose to leave behind, and I haven't always been successful at not taking the past back and throwing it at my husband. BUT, my moments in the past are far outweighed by my choices to live in the present. All Glory to my God for this success because it only comes from His power working in me.

"Be alert. Be present.", He implores me.

This is my choice, and He didn't just speak it over my marriage but over all of my life ... parenting, finances, relationships, etc. Going back to this passage throughout the past six months has kept me believing in and hoping for God's best for me and my family. Every day is a choice to walk in His promise or wallow in my homemade pool of what if's and but why's.

"I'm about to do something brand-new!", He exclaims with great fervor.

He so meant this that on {1.1.11}, the very first day of the new year, He provided FREE smart phones for the kids and I, after years of me sometimes waiting patiently and sometimes whining like a 5-year-old kid.

With a payroll change that I thought was going to devastate us financially, I'm convinced He treated our income like the five loaves of fish. Even though I was diligent about most every $, Anthony's paychecks seemed to go further than they did when each check was larger than it is now. We haven't struggled and we've never gotten to the end of a pay period to find an empty bank account.

Teighlor auditioned for her very first theater play and got a part! He opened up a brand-new door for her and lit a new fire in her belly. I am excited to see what the remainder of this year holds for her. Another play? I hope so for her.

In February I revealed my true heart for the first time in two years. That confession sent me on a two month journey that had me questioning everything I knew or believed about love and ended in April with a SUPERnatural outpouring of heavenly love straight to my [new] little, pink heart. It was my Ezekiel 36:26 moment and it changed everything about me. *I would link to a blog post about this but I realized that I neglected writing about it because it came at the same time that Heather's battle with cancer came to an end. I still have all my notes, so I am going to make time to get it all down. I promise myself!

Speaking of Heather, although I am hesitant to write when hearts are still on the uphill of healing, He did make her brand new; though not through an earthly healing as we had all prayed for, but by giving her a new body altogether. This falls in line with what newness He revealed to me at Pink Impact: we don't view {life} the way He does. We're so earthly bound, but {life} to Him is not just about the time He gives us in our human bodies but, more importantly, the {LIFE} He has waiting for us in His presence. One day we will truly understand this, but for now we war with our hearts and minds through the process of grief and loss.

Alec and Baseball. They are two words that are linked together like best friends. And in the first half of this year, God provided Alec with two opportunities to play ball like he never has before. First, Alec made the Birdville High School summer team, beating out 25 other players even though he'd missed the first tryout, never played select ball like most of the other players and the coaches only saw him for a total of 3 hours. Second, he was asked to fill in for vacationing players on a select team that was made up of mostly All Stars he had played with previously. Those were two exhausting and baseball filled weekends, but they brought out a level of skill in Alec's play that we didn't even know existed. He had played "down" for many years because of having to play rec level ball, but God gave us a glimpse at the talent Alec has and it was some pretty ball to watch. God gave Alec baseball for a reason; shoot, probably more reasons than we even understand. He has always given Alec incredible favor with coaches and this year God continues to shower Alec with baseball favor!

Speaking of favor, I can't overlook the financial favor He poured out by providing airline tickets (through Marg's best friend, Kelli) for two trips to California--once to say good-bye to Heather and then to come back to be with family for her service. I still shake my head at the generosity of a family who knew of us (Coli and I) but had never met us. And I will be FOREVER thankful and grateful for the memories and moments that were allowed to become part of my heart due to God speaking and one of His children listening and obeying. I pray this lesson into my heart every time I think of it.

Pink Impact. There were so many moments of newness there. To start with, it was my first-ever Gateway women's conference and God showed up like crazy. As in my earlier promise to myself, I will get these moments out of my notebook and into my blog ... sometime in the very near future.

I will mention just one more "new" (in code, for now). A few weeks ago God showed us that He is the King of Opportunity and can change the course of a future with one phone call or over a cup of coffee at Starbucks. I can't say more right now except that as time has progressed the opportunity is looking brighter, bigger and more possible with each cup of coffee.

I know there are many other [smaller] moments, not less significant moments, that I just don't have time to mention, but these are the highlights I need to have here.


  1. July is the new black. Or in better terms, the new New Years. Totally all over this blog of journal stones!

    It's neat to hear your reflections. AND to get a bright update about your possibility. I was just wondering out loud about that yesterday.

    I've been really stuck on what a year can hold ever since we moved. I remember signing a lease back in May 2009 not knowing SO MUCH of what the last year held. And now, having just signed another lease, I try to imagine all this year can hold...and know I can't. Which makes me excited! Because some of the best moments, days, or seasons of my life may be hiding ride around the corner.

  2. Ride around the corner. Hmmm...not exactly what I meant. But hey, I am up for the ride! haha