"You are not a negative person. So I have no doubt that whatever negative you release will eventually find it's way back to something life-giving."Yesterday I was definitely negative. Couldn't find the positive no matter how much light was shed on the subject. I was obstinate in the most obvious of ways and was choosing to stay put in my "I don't care box".
But I still have to reflect on the words above. I did release pretty much everything negative and, therefore, believe it readied my heart to even consider to be open and available to listen to Anthony when he came home. Had I not had that time to vent my steam and frustration, I believe I would have been completely belligerent and closed off later.
Does it mean everything is totally ok and we go back to status quo? No. It means there's acknowledgment that work is needed. And he sees that work is needed in him before we put all our eggs in the basket of working on a better marriage. Not that we ignore our marriage but without him [and I, for that matter] coming into a place where our baggage is dealt with, if we solely focus on building a stronger and better marriage, it will all be in vain.
So today I have to choose to drop the resentment and allow him to move forward. It is my choice. I can lug the resentment with me and continue to build it up, or I can leave it behind me and hope that God will create new life out of dead circumstances.