I know, I know. The title for this blahg is a bit odd, but it’s simply the least brain-taxing title I could come up with considering the fact that I’m writing this particular entry at 2 a.m. (Nothing up... just stayed up past the time my body normally goes to sleep, and now I’m awake.)
So, last night my body was aching (have been working out a lot lately), I had a headache (‘cuz I had a knot on the inside of my left shoulder blade that was tweaking the muscles in my neck) and I heard the whispers of Calgon offering to take me away. All of this added up to one thing... the need for a nice, long, hot bubble bath and my iPod.
My iPod always goes to the bathtub with me because whenever I’m soaking, I’m also always worshipping. The two just go hand-in-hand for me. Last night was no different, except for one thing... Jesus showed up in a big way.
I was singing through my first three songs and then got to a song to which I didn’t know the lyrics, so I decided to simply let my spirit sing for me. As the song played, I lost myself in thoughts of Jesus. I began to pray and asked Jesus to come sit with me while I worshipped. Within seconds, I was overwhelmed (literally) with the presence of Christ in the room with me. My heart felt filled to capacity (a true physical feeling), and tears rolled down my cheeks beyond my control. I wasn’t surprised by my reaction because whenever I’m allowed to feel the presence of God I am always emotionally overwhelmed. I can’t imagine who wouldn’t be.
As I regained my composure, I began a conversation with Jesus; one where I not only spoke aloud to him but also “heard” his replies back to me. I’m sure they wouldn’t have been audible to anyone listening, but they were clear as day to me in my heart.
This may sound silly, but the first thing I said to Jesus was, “Hello.” Well, isn’t that what anyone would say to someone who’s just popped in? Even though I couldn’t “see” Jesus, I was given a sense of his reactions when they weren’t “verbal”. He just smiled at me -- the most beautifully warm smile I’ve ever “seen”.
I then thanked him for coming to sit with me. His reply? “All you had to do was ask me.” I, again, was overwhelmed with emotion. Maybe it was the utter simplicity of his reply. Tears rolled down my cheeks once more. As I “watched” him, he said to me, “You know that I love you, don’t you?” I could only reply, “Yes.” Once again, I was fully aware of the presence of his spirit. It was so substantial that it felt as if a heavy blanket, like an old-fashioned, hand knit quilt, was covering my body.
As I took comfort in his company, I could feel my spirit basking in his holiness. After a short while I spoke to him the only words on my heart, “I love you so much.” It was at that point that Jesus became so clear to me. I couldn’t actually see him, but it was as if my spirit could -- and that image was being written on my heart. He looked at me with such affection, such tenderness. The delight that showed in his eyes made me feel like a small girl looking into the eyes of her Daddy.
I found myself captivated by his extravagant beauty... a regal beauty. The only words my mouth could speak were, “My God, you are so beautiful”, as more tears ran down my cheeks. It was a moment I hope to never forget.
At that time, the song that my spirit had been singing along to came to an end. As the next song began to play, I still felt Jesus’ abundant presence, so I invited him to join me in worshipping our Father together. For the next 3 songs I was given the privilege of knowing that Jesus was joining me in lifting praise to our Heavenly Father. It was truly an awesome experience.
For the past year I have thoroughly enjoyed, and looked forward to, my nights in the bathtub with my iPod and my worship music. I’ve always been honored to have been drawn into God’s throne room as I’ve lost myself in the music. Last night, God changed things up a bit... He came to sit with me.
The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God. ~ Romans 8:16