Two-and-a-half hours later and many pages into Much-Afraid's journey, I came back home, said good-bye to all the kids as they headed down to the library, and opened up Destiny In Bloom to read about Commissioning All Campers ... an article by a guest writer I had neglected to read last week.
In the 105 pages that I managed to read through this morning, Holy Spirit has been speaking like crazy into a pocket of fear that took up residence in my soul long ago and continues to reside their because I have yet to discover - through revelation - the exact root of its existence. I know that this little bugger is now doomed - once and for all - because Jesus has called to me, just like He did to Much-Afraid, to come and journey to the High Places. It's in this journey that I'm taking with Much-Afraid (as her twin sister) where [fear] will be conquered because the revelation that is already unfolding as I read is constant. God's timing is ALWAYS perfect, and for such a time as this, [fear] has been exposed and now sits in the cross-hairs of my Savior's gun.
Below is the comment I left in reference to this article. Another journal stone for me to keep, much in the same fashion as Much Afraid's stones she picked up and kept in her bag to remember the milestones of her journey.
"The fear you submit to is the thing that will always enslave you. But the fear you fight through is the thing that will have you experience breakthrough."
When reading this, I realized that in this journey of LOVE that I am walking with Jesus, [fear] is the enemy that has held me back for too long and continues to travel these roads with me; sometimes hiding and at other times standing in front me, provoking me to try and get past him.
"But "[PERFECT LOVE] casts out all fear" [i John 4:18] are the words that have been spoken over me all this time, yet now are my ears finally surrendering to the fine tuning of Holy Spirit and hearing the WORD like I've never heard Him before.
"When He comes and hands you the blueprint for building more of His kingdom, do not fear! He is with you! He will glorify Himself through you and you will walk it out in peace and encouragement knowing He is going ahead of you. When the enemy presents you with the picture of the Giants along with the mini movie of how you will not succeed, be encouraged that the One who created you and calls you by name is the same one who will give you the victory.'
Amen and AMEN!!!"
I hear you! I really, really do! I've been reflecting on my life so far. I want to love. So badly. But yet I've failed to do so regularly. God showed me that's because of FEAR. I get terribly afraid and that leads to extreme selfishness. So I've been rejecting fear. It's hard to explain, but I recognize often how not everything I think is actually a part of me yet. I see my own thoughts as foreign objects almost. Like pride. When I am thinking a good thought and a prideful one follows, I reject the prideful one and cling to what is good. I don't identify with it as my own anymore. Or let it take root. Or worse, action. I just tell it to leave. I speak the truth. And in that, I know I am learning how to fight for LOVE.
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