Monday, May 10, 2010

For What Purpose?

At 43 I find it discombobulating to feel as if I'm stuck in the middle of something because you've decided to make it something. You know exactly what you're doing with your words and even though I have learned a huge lesson in not judging intent and the heart behind the matter, I am strongly putting a title to this: PURPOSE. There is a purpose to what you're doing and it sucks that you've decided to you US to fulfill that purpose ... whatever it is.

I was bothered this weekend by the lack of respect [you publicized] for this relationship of family and friendship; a relationship outside of your domain and broken, yet that has nothing to do with US.

I'm really bothered how, in my opinion, you somehow felt it was "right" to use US to get to THEM; that you somehow saw it as okay to use your freedom of speech to publicly spar with an opponent you know is listening but isn't going to step into the ring with you. That's a low blow ... in my opinion.

You contacted him for help before the last straw was the last straw, yet you felt no need to publicize that because things were still okay on the other end. No harm, no foul.

You were given an opportunity to earn some quick cash to help out until something solid came along, yet you felt no need to publicize that because things were still okay on the other end. No harm, no foul.

He was a business man with some possible business contacts and that's how it was treated, yet you felt no need to publicize that because we all knew that there wouldn't have been ANY contact had there not been a need.

YET, when a mind-boggling opportunity arises from a seemingly insignificant one-off opportunity, now you feel the need to present a public presence that's twisted enough to read one way when those involved know the "real" way. And I ask ... for what PURPOSE?

I struggled with your PURPOSE on Friday night, and I woke up this morning to be presented with another opportunity to struggle with it today. Is your purpose to jab or to create a riff? Either way, it's not OK!

You've used the medium to create a false reality and you've used US as the prime characters in that false reality show. You may have only had the PURPOSE to say, "Na, na, na, na, na", which I tend to want to laugh off as ridiculous, but even high school antics can dredge up wounds and cause harm that you'll never see.

Again, I can't judge intent ... I can only believe there was a PURPOSE.

But there is a consequence to your PURPOSE that I don't know if you even considered. You knew they would hear your words but did you ever stop to consider that you would cause loyalty to be questioned? You see, I take loyalty very seriously and I don't like it - not even a wee bit - when the actions of one can cause a thought path to be taken that shouldn't have ever been in the first place. Toying with people's emotions is immature, and more importantly, dangerous.

Thinking Differently is a big lesson God is just at the tip of the iceberg of teaching me and, thereby, teaching the ones I love. But before we can Think Differently, we have to think first.


  1. I wrote a blog about you today. God has been so faithful to confirm everything He told me about us! Because our relationship truly does exist within Him, it's almost creeper how we stay connected sometimes. Basically, we both saw a problem - identified the enemy's involvement - and had the same resolution...without even talking. You wrote this blog and I wrote a blog I have since deleted, before we even talked. I am seriously speechless in the face of such friendship. God told me "we are not co-commiserators, but we grieve with one another". I didn't fully understand what that meant when I wrote it down. But now I do!!!!!!! You didn't take on my offense, but God revealed His heart to you. And that meant we grieved together. How can I even explain the health of our relationship to anyone?! If I could only figure this out with everyone else I have ever loved, I could change the world.

    I love you, Hauntie. Thank you for your loyalty that's there before I even reach for it.

  2. :) I just want to send you a smile. My peace is returning. And so is my sound mind. God definitely used you in that process. Thank you for being my PUZZLE PIECE.

    I just blogged and it was short and sweet. Just like I like it. I feel grounded again. Amen and amen.

  3. Babs,
    I just wanted to let you know I find myself convicted of some of the things that you said in this email. I know that things are 'great' right now in my relationship with C & J but they haven't always been. I've been irresponsible and careless (a few times) with not only their heart and their family but with you and yours. I've had ulterior motives and I've seen its affects. I never meant to put you (or yours) in this type of situation...ever! So I feel like I should apologize if this is a place that I've ever put you(or yours) in because of my relationship...or tumultuous time with C & J. You are amazing and even though I know this wasn't written for me..and THAT time in my life has long since was still applicable to me and I felt that I needed to apologize for the many boundaries I crossed with you(and yours). thank you for writing this...and I love you (and yours)