Wednesday, May 21, 2008

When the Day Ends

I sat here with my fingers on the keys of my laptop for a good 15 seconds before I started typing. My head knows that I have to type this blog before I go to sleep but my heart doesn't want to. Yesterday morning (even though I'm still in the same "day" still), I know God prompted my heart to begin writing blogs again but to write them from a different perspective - one that is totally real, uncensored and unfiltered. When you know random people are reading your thoughts it doesn't make total transparency easy to come by.

How is it that I can have such an incredible day where I know God was moving through conversation and fellowship and where He generously provided through family, and then end it all badly because of a misunderstanding and/or miscommunication?

Why is it that when I feel I'm right - even if I'm not - I push my 'point' past the point of no return simply because I can?

I am struggling to find a balance between my body (the physical) and my heart (the companionship).

Where is the line between doing what's right in acts of selflessness and simply doing?

Why do I react so negatively to what is normal? At times my tongue speaks before I even have a chance to hear my own thoughts.

Lord, help me to understand my faults and flaws; to see beyond my questions to the answers.

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