Heavenly Hope: A Journal Stone

I lift up my eyes... where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and earth.

Psalm 121:1-2

Rebecca recently wrote a short but powerful testimonial blog that focused on the miracle of God's hand in the gift of their family's new dream home. Her story was filled with such hope, as it was one of her main reasons for writing, that it provoked in me the response below. 

As so often happens, when I write for any reason--be it initiation or response--Holy Spirit has this way of working things out in me and clearing a path for the new. Having shied away from writing altogether for far too many months (has it really been almost nine months since I posted anything?), this heart response to her blog felt like a tiny release of just as many months of words stored inside me--words not given any freedom to surface and bring relief to an oversaturated soul. It was refreshing to once again put thoughts to paper (metaphorically speaking). And it renewed the desire to pursue the very process (writing) He uses to heal me and speak to me, but also can use to minister to others, should they come across this blog.

Many people have a passion for writing and for sharing through this medium, but I think sometimes we can get bogged down by this obligation to ensure our writing has a purposeful period at the end of all the sentences. That we have to deliver a sermon in order for our words to be worthy of clicking the 'publish' button. But Revelation 12:11 tells us that our testimonies, along with the blood of the Lamb, defeat the enemy.

Sharing HOPE is a testimony.

So I'm anchoring my response here to not only have a journal stone that reminds me of this day's hope (because it's so necessary to be able to look back on what God has done), but praying that anyone who reads this will be provoked towards God and receive the very thing He wants to deposit in your heart, be it hope or the encouragement of seeing God's goodness in the lives of others.

If you haven't read Rebecca's "Our New Home and Hope" blog, head over there. I've never known anyone who thinks they been exposed to too much hope, or God's goodness on display.

I know, as I begin to type my heart’s response, that it’s got the possibility of being a lengthy one. Even with your writing being shorter in length than I anticipated, the impact of the words you chose are deep and rich and wide and long. They have stirred HeavenlyHope, as you have taken the time to declaratively share the wondrously miraculous works of God, the best Daddy ever! 

Just a few weeks ago I had the privilege of hearing Todd White share his heart for Jesus and he said something that immediately tattooed itself on mine: “I share my heart with you so that it will provoke your heart to God.” 

I wrote those words down because I didn’t want to forget them, but honestly, I haven’t had to go back to my notes to remember this statement. When Holy Spirit illuminates something for me, it has this way of sticking. 

You’ve done this today, Rebecca: shared your heart so that you could provoke other’s hearts to God. I am not taking away from the fact that you are also sharing God’s goodness in your life; I’m just partnering them together. Because when we share, we are pointing right at God. It’s one and the same. 

HeavenlyHope … I’ve been struggling to hold onto this. Some would read this as if I’m stating that I’m struggling to even believe in Hope anymore. But it’s really the opposite. I’m struggling to hold onto the rope of hope as the waves of circumstances push and pull against me. That rope is the my lifeline, and I’m not struggling to even consider whether or not it’s worthy of my holding on to, I’m struggling to not let it go … because waves do one of two things: they either propel us towards shoreline and safety, or they grind around us, wearing us down and challenging our fortitude to hold onto our belief that rescue is coming. 

“Everyday I drove by the house for over a year and I asked the Lord to give the family an amazing promotion, that it would be a blessing and a joy for them to move. Sometimes, as I drove by my heart would ache so bad that I could barely get the words out. They tasted bitter on my tongue as I felt my hope waning. But, I persisted…" 

Rich, rich words. Filled with a belief that grounded your hope. Sustained by a heart to bless a stranger. But also displaying the reality of blessing not always being easy. This paragraph holds it all. You didn’t just say to us “bless” and then BAM! your dreams are fulfilled. You showed us that heartache can stand alongside blessing and still be powerful. They don’t have to be exclusive to honor God because the point is that you dared to speak blessing and abundance over a family instead of just some random prayer that God would find a way to make this home yours. That’s POWERFUL! That’s a heaven-to-earth focused heart. And even when it felt hard or tasted bitter, you prayed blessing. HopefulPersistance. 

I purposely clipped off the end of your last sentence because these three words “but, I persisted…” screamed at me. They embody STRENGTH. “For when we are weak, then we are strong (2 Cor. 12:10).” My soul cheered when it read these words because even it recognized the spiritual significance of His Strength partnering with your persistence and then triumphing over the long ticks of seemingly endless calendar days and the taste of bitterness on a tongue. It’s VICTORY over flesh. And it’s VICTORY over the enemy of discouragement and the stealer of hope. 

When I think of the lengthy natural process you guys endured–from first seeing your dream home, to being beaten out by time constrictions, to believing it was still yours (just not yet), to a persistent prayer of blessing, to sustained hope, to the now of the reward fulfilled–I am reignited to not just be satisfied with the fact that I’m still holding onto hope, but I will, once again, LOOK. I’ve been so busy focusing at holding on that I haven’t opened my eyes in a long time to see what HeavenlyHope looks like. I’m not focused on the One who dreams first for us and then places those dreams in our hearts to pursue; I’m intent on surviving. And survival is not God’s heart for me, not the fullness of it anyway. 

“…seek Him first above the things He can do for us.” 

This is the focal point. When I seek to survive (only), I lose sight of God’s BIGNESS. I know Who is keeping me alive, and I truly am thankful for every way that He has sustained us time and time again these past 8 months. But my HOPE for big things, for dreams and purpose, has been reduced to the hope for another month’s rent. One is not wrong–it’s just not the fullness of hope. I’m thankful for manna, but I’ve stopped hoping for the Promised Land. 

Sharing your heart, Rebecca, has provoked me towards the Bigness of my God’s heart (again), and His dreams for me, and His land filled with promises that I just can’t yet see. I’ve stopped looking at the tops of the hills with anticipation, believing for promises that lay on the other side of one of them. Lately it’s just been this weariness that the top of the hill is “way up there”, and that it’s a long climb up. 

And I’m not complaining about where we are right now. I am truly thankful for sustenance. For the goodness of God’s hand of provision. I just know that the desert is not where God intended to leave his children. The desert was the journey from one place to another–not the destination. And while this desert journey hasn’t been as harsh and hot as some in the past, it has held some stolen dreams, stolen income, and the reality of a long time friendship dissolved by an act of careless betrayal.
But … the Word of God does not return void; I believe that with every fiber of my being. And Romans 8:28 is an active promise filled with the active hope of loss redeemed by His goodness. “AND WE KNOW that ALL things work together for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” 

Seek first the kingdom of God, and ALL things…

What if We Dared to Look Deeply?

This morning she awoke with a different sensation bubbling up in her heart. But it wasn’t what was bubbling that struck her the most; it was this instant recognition that it was drastically divergent from the companions that had been sharing her days for some weeks now, maybe months—actually years if you were brave enough to press in beyond the easy answer and ask “how are you?” more than once, and really mean it.

Apathy. Wandering. A touch of Loneliness. Well, maybe more than a touch. Probably more like the deep end of the pool that sometimes feels like that expanse of ocean experienced when one swims out beyond the break of the waves. There are no sides to hold onto out there when the legs grow weary from treading water. One simply wills him or herself to tread longer, or … sink.

These were some of her companions, but there were others too.

Insanity. Really, just a sense of insanity, but not the kind we call crazy where the mind can’t distinguish thought from reality—the kind that causes a mind to break into pieces and take up residence in the fractured places of darkness. No. This is the heart kind of insanity where what’s offered up and out to be heard and accepted and understood and nurtured bounces back in confusing ways. Ways that speak one thing but demonstrate another. Ways that almost force her to choose between what she hears and what she sees. Ways that allow room for her to grasp at hope for change but often back her into a corner where she has to consider a reality that may not be what she’s built around her. A carefully constructed environment often betrays what lies behind closed doors.

This kind of insanity is dangerously deceptive because while crazy tends to prominently display itself, the heart can hide itself in pretend smiles and creative words that tell a story of what’s longed for but not actually lived out.

And then there are those questions unanswered. Constant questions can spin a mind into a cycle of unknowing that feels endless and exhausting. Questions about what’s been and what is and what will be—and how they all fit together. Questions about what’s true versus what’s believed, and the fact that the forces of life’s winds can twist and bend us until up seems down and down seems up. And we’ll stake our lives, and the lives of those around us, on this upside-down truth. That’s a world with which she’s become far too acquainted. A world she chose to settle into because it seemed as if it were the only option offered. But was it? Is it? What if we don't see other options because we're just not willing to look in a different direction? Many say they see, but how many actually look?

What happens when questions remain unanswered for too long? When not knowing no longer satisfies the often-distorted stability of uncertainty? When the desire for answers trumps unanswered acceptance? A heart can only ask for so long before it just stops asking.

She’s heard it said, “One should not ask a question they don’t want to know the answer to.” And she’s understood for some time now that many happily abide by that suggested life policy, and do so with ease. Many don’t ask because there simply isn’t a desire to know, and she’s been wondering if that’s equally proportional to their desire to not be known. Questions are necessary though—vital actually—to fully living instead of just surviving, to knowing instead of just being.

The mystery of the human heart—just like the Mystery of God—is hidden, not to be forever buried, but to be uncovered by those who desire to search for it and appreciate the adventure; and deep is not meant for those who are content to float on the surface, but too many are.

What if we dared to look deeply and stayed long enough to gain trusted access into this hidden place? We may discover a world that’s pleading to be inhabited, where the ground is lush with life and love, and the soil is fertile for growing so many things new. Where treasure remains unearthed because no one’s yet dug deep enough to find it. Where the fraudulent belief that knowing someone is a finite process actually dissipates and then stretches into the wondrously wild and borderless expanse that was breathed into man by the One who is infinite.

But to many—to most, more often than not—this hidden place is too hazardous a path to travel because it requires a conscious choice to step over awkward and into the delicate and fragile territory of the unchartered human soul. It’s risky business here because easy answers don’t work, and listening is more profitable than being heard, and questions become the shovel to the buried treasure of the heart.

And really, isn’t there some truth to the thought that we’ve been lulled into this belief that comfortable clichés are enough? That communicating knowledge and being heard are the same as being known? And those years marked off on the calendar equal knowing someone instead of what they really are … just time?

I wonder how much would change if we dared to look deeply? 

Gold 2013

2013: 

This is my fourth year of accumulating Golden Nuggets: a succinct thought or scripture that grabs my heart on a given day. I thought about keeping a running tally here of nuggets I've held onto for the past few years, but decided to store each year's individual scroll as my last entry for that given year. You can find them under the label "Gold".

The path of a spiritual leader is almost always marked by rejection. Bob Hamp, podcast snippet, January 2

There's something magical about twinkle lights shining in dark and difficult places. Brene Brown, Daring Greatly, January 11

We often feel desperate for absolutes ... it's the human response to fear. Brene Brown, Daring Greatly, January 11

Because redemption, after all, is ugly made Beautiful... ~ Amber Louthan, January 13

How can we be connected if we are covered? ~ Bob Hamp, People of the Way podcast, January 15

No one ever entered into the full rest of God by giving Him only half of themselves. ~ Ann Voskamp, When You Are Weary, January 15

When you named Him your Lord, you gave Him right to your life on His time. ~ Ann Voskamp, January 20

There are many problems I cannot solve or fix, but I can take them to the one who can, Jesus. ~ Christine Caine, January 20

The walls you face in your life might not be literal or physical. They might be emotional or relational. And it's okay to feel frightened or intimidated by those walls. ... It would be unhealthy not to appreciate the significance of a major challenge. ~ Excerpt from a devotion telling the story of a competitive extreme climber, January 20

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. ~ Mark Twain, opening quote to Chapter 19 of Cross Roads by Wm. Paul Young, January 22

Hope allows us to leave our unanswered questions in God's hands; it empowers us to remain at peace, and it enables us to believe the best about the days to come. ~ Joyce Meyers, Hope Devotional Reading, January 30

She hasn't learned yet to try and be anything but who she is. ~ Sarah Mae, January 30

He showed me His heart as a Heavenly Father who watches His children go through difficult tests. We cry out in desperation and we ask God to deliver us from the trial. However, our Sovereign God knows what is best for us and allows the test to mold and shape us into stronger followers of Christ. ~ Amber Rhoads, February 13

Reaching a point where you say "enough" to a toxic environment is not cowardly--it is so very brave. ~ Jen Hatmaker, April 25

When you forgive, you are reclaiming your heart for your own. ~ Alan Smith, April 26

When we find a redemptive perspective on our suffering, it ceases to be suffering. ~ Viktor Frankl, Psychologist, April 29

God is using the "all is lost" season in your life for His purposes. And when we submit to His purposes, any death can be redeemed. He's living proof of that. ~ Donald Miller, April 29

Fear begets fear until Perfect Love interferes. ~ Bob Hamp, May 3

Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed. Proverbs 16:3 ~ Crystal Lewis, May 6

Your rebellious child's real problem is not drugs or sex or cigarettes or porn or laziness or crime or cussing or slovenliness or homosexuality or being in a punk band. The real problem is that your child doesn't see Jesus clearly. The best thing you can do for rebellious children--and the only reason to follow any of these suggestions--is to show them Christ. It won't be simple or immediate, but the sins in their life that distress you and destroy them will begin to disappear only when they see Jesus more as He actually is. ~ Abraham Piper, Let Them Come Home, May 9

That's the mystery of it, and the purpose--two whole people bumping into each other and learning (through a lot of patience and vulnerability) to keep choosing each other anyway. ~ Alex Hendrick, Knowing Your Boundaries, June 18

For the rest of your life, there are going to be windows, {Ellie}. Some are going to lead to places you shouldn't be, and some are going to lead to a more beautiful view. I can't open them for you and I can't tell you which ones you are supposed to open. But He can, and He will. Your job is to know Him well enough to hear Him, and to be constant in obeying Him. ~ Angie Smith, When Life is Big and You Can't Control It, June 26

In cooperating with God to bring {my husband's} heart back home I first had to pray for his heart to come back to the Lord. We wouldn't have made it if {he} wasn't first softened towards God. Then God softened {my husband's} heart towards me. Rebecca Gates, Facebook Post, July 6

It also reminded me that we have to love as big as we can even when people can't receive it. ~ Travis Gates, Facebook Post, July 8

And I wonder how many times I shake my head in disappointment because I'm frustrated that the Lord has given me the smaller portion, not realizing He has chosen the best based on a characteristic that I don't use to assess the options {quality over quantity}. Angie Smith, Portion, August 21

God hardwired us to remember. That's why photos affect us so deeply. They hang on our hearts as well as our walls. Jimmy Evans, October 13

You never know how much a small gesture can impact a person and alter their life. You just never know ... You might press a nickel into the hand of a little girl who doesn't know she's loved and alter the course of her family for generations. Kate Andre, The Legacy of Adoption and Grandma Clydella, October 18

Aware of the Extraordinary

That first morning thought. Sometimes clear and concise, partnered with this feeling that you must have been mulling it over long before your REM pattern changed. Other times a blurred line between your dreaming and conscious states. Most of mine come into clarity after my first cup of coffee. But there's always a first morning thought. Right?

This morning mine was crystal clear, as if God wanted me to not forget it. Today is August 15 and it's our two month anniversary in our Dream Home. Being summer and without schedules and all, dates are nothing but an after thought or a question asked. But not today. It was as if God was celebrating this date with me before my eyes opened.

Two months. 60 days. 1,440 hours. 86,400 minutes. 5,184,000 seconds. When broken down, time seems much more significant. 2 months versus 5 million seconds. My mind pauses as I consider it all. Two months feel like a blip on a radar and forever all at the same time. Time has not stopped and waited for me to pay attention to its passing, but the contentment of here has caused me to forget where I came from.

And yet I still wake up, still meander into my kitchen, still light the gas stove and turn on the lawn sprinklers, still mosey up the stairs to where my no-so-littles hang out, and I smile. Smile because the goodness of God is in every wall, every window blind, and every blade of grass that paints our front and back yards. And it's in the aroma of our home created by the combination of paint and wood floors and ... us.  

Every home has its own fragrance. It's distinct and recognizable, like a name. You may become so familiar with it on a day-to-day basis that you stop paying attention to the comfort it brings. But just leave for a few days and it's almost automatic that the first words out of your mouth when you return will be, "Ahh, it smells like home."

Every address I've shared since becoming a transplanted Texan has held its own unique place in my heart. From being the first in Double Oak to representing new beginnings in Bedford; from starting over in Keller to down-sizing in NRH and re-imagining in Roanoke, memorable moments have been carved into my mind that I carry forward with each passing year. 

But this place. This Dream Home, my Ephesians 3:20 home as I've called it from first sight, is something extraordinary because it represents God's Above-And-Beyond-All-That-I-Could-Ask-For-Or-Imagine Kind of Goodness. It's extraordinary because it represents a tidal wave kind of miracle. It's extraordinary because He brought us out of the depths of loss and placed us in a palace of promise. It's extraordinary because it represents the blessing of God and His gracious generosity. And it's extraordinary because it came with a promise of God's faithful provision. 

Hebrews 10:23 - Let us hold fast the hope we confess without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.

 

Choosing Differently

Today. Today I read this and this and this as I carved out time to just enjoy the morning. Window shades pulled up to let light in. Coffee in a spill-proof cup because I still haven't found the night stands I really want and the coffee has to sit in my lap for now. Covers all messy around me and over me. Laptop waiting with words that will fill the emptiness created by not purposing to fill it. Instead I've just allowed myself to ache over emptiness and then ache some more. Boredom and emptiness beget boredom and emptiness. Yet in the low places where they both wait, it takes effort to not be lulled by them into complacency and then settle for them as companions.

So I chose differently. Today. I chose to sip at the drink that I've unwittingly abandoned, the one that ever satiates my thirsty soul. Words beautiful and words deep breathe life into me. Words written from the heart of God and placed in The Book that will never be out sold, and other words that He delivers, written from the same place but bound with a different cover, or none at all, with a different title, because that someone bowed in passionate obedience and listened and then set those words free.

I've neglected words, and I am well aware again of the price I pay when I do. Thirsty. Parched. Dry. Cracking. Apathetic. And then bored and empty.

But today I chose differently. That's all it really takes. Choosing Differently. Yet that choice can feel too hard and almost beyond my ability when I neglect it for too many days in a row. Or weeks. Or months.

And it's not that I've disregarded His Word for too long. Because they are there. Always there. It's in the choice to sip and walk away or linger and drink the entire cup that determines my level of saturation afterward.

No, it's not that I haven't chosen His Word, but instead the addition of words He chooses to write through attentive hearts. And I've neglected also allowing Him to write through mine.

And it's not that His Word isn't enough, it's always all and then some, but there's good reason that He also chooses to give words to others. Because His heart continues through those who sit with Him and then release to us. 

And it's not just words. It's every gift really.

But for me it's that written trifecta. That perfect storm that keeps my heart alive and fresh and inspired, and keeps boredom and emptiness at bay: His Words. Their Words. My Words. Really ALL His, but dealt out to different hands and hearts.

Words inspire me and feed me and drive me and love on me. And today I chose not to abandon them but to abandon myself to them.

What feeds you, drives you, loves on you and inspires you? Then choose it today. Remember, that's all it really takes: Choosing Differently.

Moving Day!

Trust (lean on, rely on and be confident) in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper and feed surely on his faithfulness, and surely you will be fed. Take delight (great pleasure or joy) also in the Lord, and he will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. Psalm 37:3-4

He has given us the desires of our hearts in this home. Hometown is our new dwelling place, as of today. Great things are in our future here. Baseball. Job. Destinies. Family. A place of welcoming. A place of nourishing. A place of rest. A place to be fed. A place to gather and laugh and celebrate and praise. Our alter ... every morning a reminder of the goodness of God.

Our early morning moving crew. So thankful!

*Added Note*
August 9, 2013

I wrote the above on the morning of our move to our home in Hometown on June 15. The verse above it inspired my thoughts that I jotted down in my YouVersion app. As I was re-reading my thoughts and the verse I couldn't help but be drawn to the four words (that I have now put in bold font): Trust. Then. Also. And.

There's an order to this promise playing out. Trust first, Then you will receive the promise. And after trusting, Also take joy in the Lord, And {then} he will give you the desires of your heart. It reminded me that sometimes we can focus so much on the goodness of God's promises that we can lose sight of our part that precedes them.

I have to engage with him. Be a part of the two-way relationship. In this particular verse, it's simply a matter of choosing to trust him, to be confident in his promise and ... then. Additionally, I'm given the "instruction" -- if one can call it that -- to take joy in Him and ... then.

I love these little moments where Holy Spirit expands my understanding and gives me another level of insight to scripture. These thoughts may not be the deepest or grandest, but they are another step in unpacking the richness of scripture.

Let Them Come Home by Abraham Piper

The article below was written by Abraham Piper (John Piper's son). I actually copied it straight from another blog and am keeping it here because it's just so ridiculously powerful and practical.

The following is Abraham’s account written for Decision Magazine.

When I was 19, I decided I’d be honest and stop pretending I was a christian.  At first I pretended that my reasoning was high-minded and philosophical. But really I just wanted to drink gallons of cheap sangria and sleep around. Four years of this and I was strung out, stupefied and generally pretty low. Especially when I was sober or alone.

My parents, (John and Noel Piper) who are strong believers and who raised their kids as well as any parents I’ve ever seen, were brokenhearted and baffled. (See sidebar story below.) I’m sure they were wondering why the child they tried to raise right was such a ridiculous screw-up now. But God was in control.

One Tuesday morning, before 8 o’clock, I went to the library to check my e-mail. I had a message from a girl I’d met a few weeks before, and her e-mail mentioned a verse in Romans. I went down to the Circle K and bought a 40-ounce can of Miller High Life for $1.29. Then I went back to where I was staying, rolled a few cigarettes, cracked open my drink, and started reading Romans. I wanted to read the verse from the e-mail, but I couldn’t remember what it was, so I started at the beginning of the book. By the time I got to chapter 10, the beer was gone, the ashtray needed emptying and I was a Christian.

The best way I know to describe what happened to me that morning is that God made it possible for me to love Jesus. When He makes this possible and at the same time gives you a glimpse of the true wonder of Jesus, it is impossible to resist His call.

Looking back on my years of rejecting Christ, I offer these suggestions to help you reach out to your wayward child so that they, too, would wake up to Christ’s amazing power to save even the worst of us.

1. Point them to Christ.

Your rebellious child’s real problem is not drugs or sex or cigarettes or porn or laziness or crime or cussing or slovenliness or homosexuality or being in a punk band. The real problem is that your child doesn’t see Jesus clearly. The best thing you can do for rebellious children—and the only reason to follow any of these suggestions—is to show them Christ. It won’t be simple or immediate, but the sins in their life that distress you and destroy them will begin to disappear only when they see Jesus more as He actually is.

2. Pray.

Only God can save your children, so keep on asking Him to display Himself to them in a way they can’t resist worshiping Him for.

3. Acknowledge that something is wrong.

When your daughter rejects Jesus, don’t pretend that everything is fine.

If you know she’s not a believer and you’re not reaching out to her, then start. And never stop. Don’t ignore her unbelief. Ignoring it might make holidays easier, but not eternity.

4. Don’t expect them to be Christlike.

If your son is not a Christian, he won’t act like one, and it’s hypocrisy if he does. If he has forsaken your faith, he has little motivation to live by your standards, and you have little reason to expect him to.

If he’s struggling to believe in Jesus, there is little significance in his admitting that it’s wrong to get wasted, for instance. You want to protect him, yes, but his most dangerous problem is unbelief—not partying. No matter how your child’s behavior proves his unbelief, always be sure to focus more on his heart’s sickness than its symptoms

5. Welcome them home.

Because your deepest concern is your son’s heart, not his actions, don’t create too many requirements for coming home. If he has any inkling to be with you, don’t make it hard for him. God may use your love to call him back to Christ. Obviously there are instances when parents must give ultimatums: “Don’t come to this house, if you are …” But these will be rare. Don’t lessen the likelihood of an opportunity to be with your child by pushing him away with rules.

If your daughter stinks like weed or an ashtray, spray her jacket with Febreeze and change the sheets when she leaves, but let her come home. If you find out she’s pregnant, then buy her folic acid, take her to her 20-week ultrasound, protect her from Planned Parenthood, and by all means let her come home. If your son is broke because he spent all the money you lent him on loose women and ritzy liquor, then forgive his debt as you’ve been forgiven, don’t give him any more money—and let him come home. If he hasn’t been around for a week and a half because he’s been staying at his girlfriend’s—or boyfriend’s—apartment, urge him not to go back, and let him come home.

6. Plead with them more than you rebuke them.

Be gentle in your disappointment.

What concerns you most is that your child is destroying herself, not that she’s breaking rules. Treat her in a way that makes this clear. She probably knows—especially if she was raised as a Christian—that what she’s doing is wrong. And she definitely knows you think it is, so she doesn’t need this pointed out. She needs to see how you are going to react to her evil. Your gentle forbearance and sorrowful hope will show her that you really do trust Jesus.

Her conscience can condemn her by itself. Your role is to stand kindly and firmly, always living in the hope that you want your child to return to.

7. Connect them to other believers.

Obviously, you are distant from your wayward child; otherwise you wouldn’t think they’re wayward. This is another reason why pleading is better than rebuking—your relationship with your rebellious child is tenuous and should be protected if at all possible.

But rebuke is still necessary. A lot of rebellious kids would do well to hear that they’re being fools, but you’re probably not the one to tell them. Try to keep other Christians in their lives and trust God to connect your son or daughter with a believer who can point out your child’s folly without getting the door slammed on them.

8. Respect their friends.

Of course your daughter’s relationships are founded on sin. And, yes, her friends are bad for her. But she’s bad for them, too. And nothing will be solved by making it evident that you don’t like who she’s hanging around with.

Be hospitable. Her friends are someone else’s wayward children, and they need Jesus, too.

9. E-mail them.

When you read something in the Bible that encourages you and helps you love Jesus more, write it up in a couple of lines and send it to your child. The best exhortation—better than any correction—is for them to see Christ’s joy in your life

Don’t stress out when you’re composing these as if each one needs to be singularly powerful. Just whip them out and let the cumulative effect of your satisfaction in God gather up in your child’s inbox. God’s Word is never useless.

10. Take them to lunch.

If possible, don’t let your only interaction with your child be electronic. Get together with him face to face if you can. You may think this is stressful and uncomfortable, but trust me that it’s far worse to be in the child’s shoes—he is experiencing all the same discomfort, but compounded by guilt. So if he is willing to get together with you for lunch, praise God, and use the opportunity.

It may almost feel hypocritical to talk about his daily life, since what you really care about is his eternal life, but be sure to do it anyway. He needs to know you care about all of him. Then, before lunch is over, ask about his soul. You don’t know how he’ll respond. Will he roll his eyes like you’re a moron? Will he get mad and leave? Or has God been working in him since you talked last? You don’t know until you risk asking. God will give you the gumption.

11. Take an interest in their pursuits.

Odds are that if your daughter is purposefully rejecting Christ, then the way she spends her time will disappoint you. Nevertheless, find the value in her interests, if possible, and encourage her. You went to her school plays and soccer games when she was 10; what can you do now that she’s 20 to show that you still really care about her interests?

Jesus spent time with tax collectors and prostitutes, and He wasn’t even related to them. Imitate Christ by being the kind of parent who will put some earplugs in your pocket and head downtown to where your daughter’s CD release show is. Encourage her and never stop praying that she will begin to use her gifts for Jesus’ glory instead of her own.

12. Point them to Christ.

This can’t be stressed enough. It’s the whole point. No strategy for reaching your son or daughter will have any lasting effect if the underlying goal isn’t to help them know Jesus.

The goal is not that they will be good kids again. It’s not that they’ll get their hair cut and start taking showers; it’s not that they’ll like classical music instead of deathcore; it’s not that they’ll vote conservative again by the next election. The goal is not for you to stop being embarrassed at your weekly Bible study or even for you to be able to sleep at night, knowing they’re not going to hell.

The only ultimate reason to pray for them, welcome them, plead with them, eat with them, or take an interest in their interests is so that their eyes will be opened to Jesus Christ.

And not only is He the only point, but He’s the only hope. When they see the wonder of Jesus, satisfaction will be redefined. He Himself will replace the money, or the praise of man, or the high, or the sex that they are staking their eternities on right now. Only His grace can draw them from their perilous pursuits and bind them safely to Him—captive, but satisfied.

God will do this for many. Be faithful and don’t give up.

The Little Girl Inside

There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed (perfect) love banishes all fear. 

1 John 4:18 [MSG]

     An expanse of green grass and rolling hills touches a horizon of pale blue sky. A large hand reaches down out of the heavens. The little girl in her summer dress reaches upward, her hand so very small as it tucks inside His, wrapped in a sense of safety that is palpable.

     A concrete pathway winding through fields of brightly colored flowers, they are walking and holding hands—the little girl in her summer dress and her companion, Jesus. Every time she looks up at him he is looking down at her, his focus only on her. The sparkle in his eyes tells her that she captivates him, and his smile communicates his delight in her. Their laughter is limitless; their giggles the sweetest sound to her ears. This pathway is theirs alone, but even if throngs of other people surrounded them, she would only hear his words. His voice fascinates her—every word feels wrapped in tender confidence. There is no place she would rather be than here with him, anywhere with him.

     They sit together on a black, wrought iron park bench, the little girl in her summer dress and her Jesus. She is tucked into the crook of his arm looking up at his face as he tells her a story. He loves to tell her stories, and they always seem to make her laugh. She can tell that he loves when she laughs because when she does he always turns his eyes to look right into hers … and then he laughs right back. And, oh, how she loves to watch him when he laughs at his own stories. His cheeks turn the slightest shade of pink and his chuckle makes her want to snuggle in even deeper underneath his arm. He never tells her the same story twice.

     Hand in hand they skip along, the little girl in her summer dress and her best friend, Jesus. Their feet are bare in the tender, moss green grass and the breeze feels good on their cheeks. She loves when they skip because even though his legs are much longer than hers he always purposes to keep her stride.

     The morning air is cool but the sun’s rays are warm and comforting. He is carrying her piggyback style, the little girl in her summer dress, with feet dangling at his sides. Her head is turned sideways, cheek pressed against his back, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. On this walk they don’t speak; they don’t need words, just each other—quiet and peaceful. This is some of her favorite time with him, and she can feel her heart smile.

Over the past several years—during worship or prayer—I’ve had multiple visions play out of Jesus and me. Always I am a little girl about five in a yellow summer dress with white stripes and an eyelet ruffle that touches just above my knees. Always we are outdoors, and always he holds my hand. Sometimes we just walk together and talk; he never runs out of questions. Sometimes we run around and play tag until we can’t catch our breath. Sometimes he takes my hands and spins me around until I’m parallel to the ground, feet flying straight out behind me. Sometimes we just hold hands and skip, our arms swinging wildly back and forth. And sometimes we just listen—listen to the sounds around us; we can hear everything.

"When she was little she lived."

Bob Hamp wrote this line in an article for Destiny In Bloom titled Somewhere Inside You She Lives. (If you haven't already read it, please head there after you're done here. It's a MUST read.)

Those six words spoke to the softest, squishiest place inside my heart—that place untouched by harsh words, rejection, decisions against my will and decisions I made against myself as the enemy’s lies became my truth, time and time again. That place that Jesus has purposed to show me time and time again: the heart of that little girl, all of five, always wearing her yellow and white summer dress. A pure heart—unbroken and undamaged by years of life and choices that were sometimes hers, sometimes not. A heart that fully trusts, fully engages, fully delights, fully lives and fully loves.

In this current season, Jesus is stripping me of the layers of life that have become bricks I have used over the years to build a wall of protection around my heart. It’s both a little bit scary and also a little bit intimidating, but I decided to dive in because a few months ago Jesus showed me something else: he showed me 'me' and he showed me the word 'unchosen'.

In this vision I had a brick in one hand and a trowel in the other. With every word spoken or deed done that I could define as 'against me', I would pick up a brick already labeled unchosen and build my wall. On the other side of this wall was Jesus, and just as fast as I could place a new brick in its place he was taking one down. The fact that he showed me a brick wall was not surprising. I’ve spent years becoming familiar with this particular protection device. What shocked me was the additional understanding he revealed: my brick wall wasn’t only shielding my heart from people, it was also a personally erected barricade between Jesus' heart and mine.

A broken and fearful heart in constant process of building any type of barrier—in the name of protecting itself against the words or actions of others—will also insulate itself from the very thing that was sent to heal it: Perfect Love.

I’m pursuing the unguarded love known by the little girl in her summer dress. Who or what is Jesus asking you to pursue?

Dream Home

"Dream a little BIG dream with me." 

There's a saying rolling around the 'churched' community that goes: If you're dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough. It's easy to read those words on a pretty Instagram post and think "Yah! Absolutely!", but then to actually step up to the plate and swing for the fences with your dreams? Well, that takes some moxie and a lot of faith in the God who can provide above and beyond all that we can ask or imagine.

I've often wondered if we somehow disappoint God because we don't dare to ask for or pursue that which seems--at initial glance--beyond our abilities or capacity. But God... (hear that one roll around too?) He's big, and when I use that word I know that it's not big enough.

We read in the Bible that we don't have because we do not ask ... so, in a time when we are feverishly scouring the Internet for our next home, today we are daring to do two things: Dream Big and Ask Big!

For the past couple weeks every home we've researched just hasn't felt like 'the one'. Now I know that where we live is just as much a matter of choice as it is God's will--what are our priorities in location, size and price--but I also believe that we often tend to settle, for fear that what matches our dreams is just asking for too much.

Hear me on this: when I speak of asking for too much, especially regarding our next living location, I'm not referring to a Westlake mansion with a pool cabana bigger than our current entire living space. That's 'Upper 1% Asking' and even I don't go there. But what about asking for 4 bedrooms instead of 3, or a house with a yard instead of an apartment? What about asking for something that matches your color theme or flooring preferences? Or how about looking at locations with a pool instead of just assuming that's beyond our price range? (Right, Plestie???)

I'm asking all of this as I post a photo of our 'Dream Home'--the newest home posted online just two days ago, in the dream area in which we are looking. She's so beautiful and full of character; reminds me of Old Town Orange in California. And she has the exact number of rooms we are praying for. And she has a front porch (swoon). And she is located in the exact neighborhood we verbally dreamt about last week and, again, just minutes before logging online to look at a different house I had found days prior--that's not in our dream neighborhood but definitely within the specific high school boundaries we are looking in.

For weeks there hasn't been a single rental bite in this neighborhood, but now ... there she is. Our Dream Home! Yes, technically it's a wee bit more than we need--in terms of the number of bathrooms, not bedrooms she contains--but everyone should dream, right? And while we may not end up being able to work out all the 'necessaries' for her, I am loving looking at her and ... dreaming.

And so I'm posting her picture here because I do serve a God who is capable of providing above and beyond, and I want to remember this day that He showed us what a Dream Home looks like. We're praying that God will make a way for us with this gem, and if right now it's not possible, then someday it will be. And I'm okay with that.

This Little Light of Mine

In the beginning was the one who is called the Word. The Word was with God and was truly God. From the very beginning the Word was with God. And with this Word, God created all things. Nothing was made without the Word. Everything that was created received its life from him, and his life gave light to everyone. The light keeps shining in the dark, and darkness has never put it out. 
John 1:1-5

Dark or darkness in this passage is described as this: metaphor used of ignorance of divine things, and its associated wickedness.

The verse that I highlighted above stopped me in my reading tracks this morning. I read it over and over again and let it settle into my heart. "The light keeps shining" and "darkness has never put it out". Memories of the times I've allowed darkness to put out my light or even seep in and become the primary source began to roll across my mind.

There is one event--that is both past and present--that this verse touches and causes me to examine. While I'm going to protect those who haven't given permission to share their side of the story, I can refer to this event as 'the broken relationship', and this broken relationship is a very present source of emotional roller coaster rides for me. From confusion to anger to pain to apathy, since last November my heart hasn't settled, and more often that not, when I think of this relationship I feel anger--which I know from my Freedom journey with Gateway, that this really points to a wound.

I'm not writing now to mull over the details of this brokenness or its accompanying emotions, but to jot down what Holy Spirit impressed within me as I read the above words. If you back up just one verse we read that "his (Jesus) life gave light to everyone." Simply put, since our life comes from Jesus and that life is light, then darkness should never be able to put our lights, just like it couldn't with Jesus.

The other day I was reading a favorite blog author and came across this golden nugget--among a multitude of nuggets: Reaching a point where you say "enough" to a toxic environment is not cowardly--it is so very brave. [Jen Hatmaker, When Is It Time to Walk Away?, April 21, 2103]

Read the post and you'll see that she's not giving permission to throw in the towel because a relationship is hard work. What she is stating is that there sometimes comes a point in the brokenness where it just may be the wisest decision to either remove yourself from within it or give permission for it to no longer be a part of your life. This line spoke right to the 'broken relationship' and that place in my heart that just keeps turning it over and again.

I have not thought of the decision that was made last November regarding this 'broken relationship' as brave, but cowardly--or just finally giving in and consequently ... giving up. Much has been deposited into my heart since that time, each golden nugget making sense and resonating, but not capping the well, so to speak. This particular sentence settled deeply within me, but was still missing the mark by 'thismuch'.

And then today... the revelation that the light keeps shining and is never put out by darkness, combined with the above golden nugget and the understanding I've received about blame and control with relationships, put a period at the end of this punctuationless (my made up word) sentence that's been hindering me since November.

"Enough" was both asked for and given almost six months ago. I understand now that it was not cowardly on our parts, but necessary to the health of the rest of our family, and to the party asking/demanding said release. I cannot control someone's feelings for or against me, but I do have control over what I do with mine. I also cannot walk another's journey to freedom and healing, but I have full control over the freedom and healing that I choose to pursue, or not. So I will choose to release the stranglehold of negative emotions and pursue true healing (from the hurt I hold) and freedom (from the negative emotions attached to it).

And this light? Well, I've let the darkness of this situation cast a shadow for too long over the light that is supposed to overcome darkness, and in that allowing of the presence of the shadow, the light in my life has been dimmed and has kept me from praying for a 'light revelation' for the other one.

Is there a situation or relationship in your life that God may be asking you to let go of? He may be telling you it's time to let it go for good, or He may be asking you to release it for a season so that there's room for Him to work in that space. That's for Him to speak to you, and no two situations are the same. Just because we label something broken doesn't mean it's immune from redemption or resurrection. Regardless of the permanency or temporal answer, what God doesn't desire is for a shadow of darkness to overcome the light of Jesus inside of us, and the light we are called to be to and for others.

Two weeks before the night of the 'broken relationship', God gave me a verse--a promise--that, unknown to me at that time, spoke right to the situation that was going to occur. He was laying down a red carpet of promise along the path of brokenness to keep our hearts steady and focused on and encouraged by the One who's word never returns void.

His Word keeps our light shining in the darkness.