Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Hide & Seek

Yesterday afternoon I was “ambushed” by my SisNBff and whisked away to Lifetime Fitness to spend some much-needed, quality talk-time with her. I was treated to a couple hours of pure relaxation with her as we made our way from the eucalyptus sauna, to the wading pool, to the jacuzzi, to the wading pool again, and then back to the sauna for one last blast of steam to soothe our souls. All the while, we did what God created us for... we laid our hearts out to one another in complete honesty and trusted fellowship.

Over the past 6 years God has intertwined our lives in ways that neither one of us would have ever believed had someone told us before-hand the paths our lives would take together. Through those years, our friendship has grown into something that I don’t believe is easily duplicated - if at all. We have a unique relationship that transcends traditional friendships; a bond that is cemented by our relationships with Jesus. This relationship is the very core of who we are to each other, and because of that, we trust that our hearts, our thoughts, our struggles and our joys are safe to share. I am beyond blessed to have this friendship, and I know she feels the same.

During our conversation we shared things that were hard to talk about; things that exposed struggles and temptations. Yes, we are both Christians, and we have an incredible ability to push one another toward the deeper things of Christ, but - alas - we are still human. In our humanity we sin, we are tempted, we fall and we make unwise choices. But - BUT - we know, in the end, that our God has given us relationships to help us get back up and move forward when we feel like we can’t do it on our own; and more often than not... we can’t.

Here’s the catch: the relationships that we are blessed with are only useful if - drum roll, please - WE USE THEM!

What good is family and friendship if we don’t call on the very ones we love when we’re in trouble?
Why do we feel the need to hide away, behind our four walls, so that we can pretend that our lives are just as good as those lives we are hiding from? ... lives of people who are probably doing the same thing we are - hiding!

Why have we believed the lie from the enemy that if we actually tell someone what is going - the real truth, the real struggles, the real temptations, the real dirt - that it will only be used against us? that the dirt will only become fodder for nothing other than gossipy conversations? that prayer won’t actually take place?

Have we blown it too many times that the trust needed to share just isn’t there anymore? Or is it a matter of pride, or shame, or guilt, or condemnation that keeps us wrapped up tightly in our cocoon of false security?

Trust me when I tell you that I am not pointing my finger at you in my ramblings - for if I were, three would be pointing right back at me. Quite frankly, my heart is heavy today with a burden of questions that I simply cannot answer.

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