Miracles, Forever and Freedom Words

I came across my Destiny In Bloom blog from August 2010 today; a blog written as our family walked in the news of Heather's cancer remission; a word that was spoken and then retracted in about a month's time. I remembered the emotions of writing this--joy and excitement coupled with God-size bigness-- but, more importantly, I was reminded of the lesson that God spoke into this blog: Miracles don't always mean forever, they can be given just for today. 

At that time, many doubted whether Heather was given a remission diagnosis because she really was in remission. Many believed the doctor just got it wrong. But I believed then and still believe today that nobody 'got it wrong', they 'got it from God'. Without that word [remission] being spoken over Heather, I'm not sure she would have ventured out to Europe or gone to the Bahamas for an overdue honeymoon. I'm not sure those that walked the closest with her would have let her go, despite her desire to {live life}. 

Whether God spoke [remission] and she was truly healed for that short period, or whether He spoke and blinded the eyes of the one who should have seen cancer (but didn't) doesn't matter to me. Both circumstances are miracles! With that word doors were opened for Heather--both physically and emotionally--to experience two once-in-a-lifetime trips; one with her best friend, the other with her forever love. [Remission] carried the breath of life on its word-wings and that very breath carried Heather's physical health while she was exploring Europe and loving the Bahamas.

I believe God spoke that word [remission] because He wanted to, not because someone made an error. God knew what it would take for those who loved her to release her to {live life}; life outside the hospital and chemotherapy treatments. Remission was their freedom word that helped them to let go of--even if only for a short time--their hold on medicine. And that freedom word gave God room to move. He knew exactly what He was doing when he whispered [remission] to HolySpirit and HolySpirit, in turn, whispered it into the ear of her doctor. (my imaginings, not gospel truth)

And while that word did not last a physical forever, it was the catalyst that created moments that will FOREVER be remembered; moments that were given as love gifts from God because He knew they would turn into memories more precious than gold ... for her best friend and her {forever love}.

I wonder now, as my spirit is being stirred by the inspiration of HolySpirit, if there are any freedom words God is speaking into my life that I just don't recognize, nor want to acknowledge, as freedom? And if I've allowed God's Love Gifts of [today miracles] to pass me by, unnoticed in the blur of busy-ness, to-do's and expectation?

I wonder as I remember...

I AM MAKING EVERYTHING NEW (written for Destiny In Bloom)


And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look! I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down...” Revelation 21:5

I know that these specific words were spoken to John as God was revealing the New Jerusalem, but for the past few years this verse has been my driving inspiration for writing. With the evolution of longhand journaling to online blogging, and the replacement of ballpoint pens with keyboards, a whole world has been opened up to us that didn’t exist just 10 years ago.

We have an incredible opportunity to not only share our lives with those who will take the time to read our words but, more importantly, we have been given a tool to share God’s amazing and miraculous works in our lives and those we share life with. When I transitioned from a hardbound journal to the Blogger website, I realized that I was no longer writing for just my eyes but for anyone who was interested enough to read my journey with me. And the importance of sharing testimonies – stories – of how God is changing me and redefining who I am became just as significant as documenting the memories I don’t want to forget years from now.

“Look! I am making everything new! Write this down…”

Those nine words light me up every time I read them. Since God has given me a passion for writing, it is my responsibility – and joy – to write as He reveals. And as I sat down to write again for Destiny In Bloom, Holy Spirit whispered to me, “Write this down”, and followed those words up with a name: Heather Faith (my niece). Immediately, her story flooded my heart and I felt the breath of inspiration.

In October of 2009, she visited her doctor concerned about a lump in her breast. She was sent home without an ultrasound, biopsy or any kind of follow-up. Just some brush off words from her physician about hormones and breast tissue. After all, at 26-years-old, she was too young to be considered a candidate for breast cancer.

Fast forward six months and that ‘insignificant’ lump had doubled in size, was painful to the touch and could be seen under her skin with the naked eye. This time, a biopsy was ordered and the news that came back shocked everyone: Stage 3 Breast Cancer. Ironically, that diagnosis sounded positive compared to what was uncovered over the coming weeks. Additional tests revealed that her cancer was systemic (not localized but in her blood stream), and more cancer was found in her lymph nodes, lungs and neck. Stage 3 became Stage 4 and she was given a death sentence. Only 5% of patients with her aggressive form of cancer actually live more than three years beyond their diagnosis.

As a medical team organized her treatment schedule, our family went into another kind of action. A 30-day fast was scheduled. Across the states – wherever family and friends were located – we were all praying for her at the same time, every day. Pink bracelets were placed on all our wrists to remind us of what we were fighting for, and the girls even opted to only wear pink nail polish as a show of solidarity.

Our family has faced death before, just like every other family out there, but we’ve never been hit with the prospect of losing someone so young; someone with so much life left to be lived. Heather was diagnosed months after celebrating her first wedding anniversary. She was just into the latter half of her twenties, enjoying the newly found gift of marriage and life was waiting ahead of her, expectant and eager. And then … cancer.

Weeks of rigorous chemotherapy turned into months. Heather was ‘treated’ with the harshest cocktail of chemicals to combat the aggressive cancer. Her body reacted to the poison coursing through her veins and soon her long, brown hair was falling out and her youthful strength was drained, causing her to opt for a wheelchair over walking. With each successive round of chemotherapy, the drugs took more out of her, and she spent two out of every three weeks in bed, recovering from the effects of what was being used to cure her. But our prayers for healing continued. We were fighting an uphill battle, and we refused to lie down and allow this enemy to win.

There is something strange that happens inside a heart when one is awakened to the reality of death before death is even considered. Emotions rise and fall like the waves of the ocean, and mortality is given a new priority in your vocabulary. Heaven is pondered more consistently, and the possibility of living life without someone you love brings forth tears when you least expect them. But something else rose up during those first few weeks when Heather’s diagnosis grew more stark with each successive test result. Anger … a righteous anger. I understood more deeply the determination to fight boldly against our unseen enemy with a strength and position of authority I hadn’t experienced before. We were warring for Heather’s life on our knees, and God was pouring out His faith, peace, love, comfort, and strength in the exact moments we needed them and in the exact proportion that sustained us. We believed for healing, and we stood in faith to win back the years of life for Heather to live.

A month ago Heather finished her last, scheduled chemotherapy treatment and tests were run to determine its success. She was told going in that with her form of cancer, she shouldn’t expect much. Few actually achieve remission. And then the test results were shared: the cancer was gone from her lungs and neck and the only remnant that remained was the lump in her breast. She was scheduled for surgery, the tumor was removed and the words “In Remission” were written in her medical chart.

God had worked a miracle!

As I write this, Heather is spending a week touring Europe with her best friend. PRAISE YOU, FATHER! And as soon as she returns, she heads out on a week-long, overdue honeymoon with her Groom; one they had to postpone because he was in school at the time they married. PRAISE YOU, HEALER GOD!

As we revel in the reality of a modern day miracle, Heather’s physicians are still skeptical. They expect to see her back within the next six months or so with cancer having popped back up somewhere in her body. After all, her cancer is labeled systemic; and even though they can’t see it now, they believe it’s lying dormant, waiting for its chance to attack somewhere else in her body. It’s hard to walk in the miracle that is ‘now’ when the medical professionals besiege you with statistics that aren’t in your favor, even a tiny bit. But God desires us to celebrate every miracle, even if it’s just for today.

And this I know: My God beat the odds this time! Odds are just numbers, and they will not stand in His way if LIFE is the diagnosis He’s handing out. Yes, according to her doctors, Heather’s prognosis hasn’t changed. She is currently in remission but still faces the reality that only 5% of those who battle this cancer truly beat it. I say, “Well, someone has to be in that 5%.”

And this I know: My God is JEHOVAH-RAPHA: the LORD who heals. And I will stand and praise Him for the healing Heather is walking in right now. To do anything less would be removing the glory due to Him.

These past six months have been a different journey for everyone involved. I have watched as God has changed people’s perspective, drawn hearts close to Him that were at one time distant, revealed His truth to the unspoken questions and brought out faith and strength where doubt and weakness once dwelled.

I recently listened to a pastor teach on the supernatural aspect of miracles. One thing he said really caught my ear and settled into my soul:

“The miracle is not always the physical healing. Many times it’s the transformed heart in the process.” - Pastor Brady Boyd

While we are celebrating the obvious, physical healing that has taken place; I can’t help but be more overwhelmed by the hearts that have been changed in this process. Look around you. People are being healed every day - maybe not from cancer - but broken hearts are repaired to love again, freedom demolishes our invisible chains of bondage, souls once lost to sin are purified by the blood of Jesus and eternities are sealed.

I have to believe that God and the Host of Heaven – although in battle against our enemy – is in a constant state of celebration because they see all the day-to-day miracles that we often overlook. Can you smile today when yesterday there were tears? Miracle! Can you dance today when yesterday felt unbearably heavy? Miracle! Has God brought clarity to what was cloudy? Miracle! Has compassion replaced judgment? Has beauty replaced ashes? Has joy replaced sorrow? Miracle! Miracle! Miracle!

Celebrate the miracle that is ‘now’, even if it’s just for today. Just LOOK! He’s making everything new!

Detour Through the Desert (December's DIB Article)

Recently, I began reading one of my most beloved books, Hinds’ Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard, as a prompting from Holy Spirit as I was praying through things on my heart; one of which was the message that God wanted to write through me for Destiny In Bloom.  I felt really impressed to share this portion with you:

Then one day the path turned a corner and to her amazement and consternation she saw a great plain spread out beneath them. As far as the eye could see there seemed to be nothing but desert, and endless expanse of sand dunes, with not a tree in sight. To the horror of Much-Afraid her two guides prepared to take the steep path downward.

She stopped dead and said to them, “We mustn’t go down there. The Shepherd has called me to the High Places.” But they made signs to her that she was to follow them down the steep pathway to the desert below.

“I can’t go down there,” panted Much-Afraid, sick with shock and fear. “He can never mean that—never!” He called me up, and this is an absolute contradiction of all that he promised.” She then lifted up her voice and called desperately, “Shepherd, come to me. Oh, I need you. Come and help me.”

In a moment he was there, standing beside her.

“Shepherd,” she said despairingly, “I can’t understand this. The guides you gave me say that we must go down there into that desert, turning right away from the High Places altogether. You don’t mean that, do you? You can’t contradict yourself. Tell them we are not to go there, and show us another way. Make a way for us, Shepherd, as you promised.”

He looked at her and answered very gently, “That is the path, Much-Afraid, and you are to go down there.”

“Oh, no,” she cried. “You can’t mean it. You said if I would trust you, you would bring me to the High Places, and that path leads right away from them. It contradicts all that you promised.”

“No,” said the Shepherd, “it is not contradiction, only postponement for the best to become possible.”

Much-Afraid felt as though he had stabbed her to the heart. “You mean,” she said incredulously, “you really mean that I am to follow that path down and down into that wilderness and then over that desert away from the mountains indefinitely? Why” (and there was a sob of anguish in her voice) “it may be months, even years, before that path leads back to the mountains again. Oh Shepherd, do you mean it is indefinite postponement?”

He bowed his head silently, and Much-Afraid sank on her knees at his feet, almost overwhelmed. He was leading her away from her heart’s desire altogether and gave no promise at all as to when he would bring her back. As she looked out over what seemed an endless desert, the only path she could see led farther and farther away from the High Places, and it was all desert.

The he answered very quietly, “Much-Afraid, do you love me enough to accept the postponement and the apparent contradiction of the promise, and to go down there with me into the desert?”

She was still crouching at his feet, sobbing as if her heart would break, but now she looked up through her tears, caught his hand in hers, and said, trembling, “I do love you, you know that I love you. Oh, forgive me because I can’t help my tears. I will go down with you into the wilderness, right away from the promise, if you really wish it. Even if you cannot tell me why it has to be, I will go with you, for you know I do love you, and you have the right to choose for me anything that you please.”

“Much-Afraid,” he said, “all of my servants on their way to the High Places have had to make this detour through the desert. It is called ‘The furnace of Egypt, and a horror of great darkness’. Here they have learned many things that otherwise they would have known nothing about. Those who go down to the furnace go on their way afterwards as royal men and women, princes and princesses of the Royal Line.”

“Fear not, Much-Afraid, to go down into Egypt; for I will there make of thee a great nation; I will go down with thee into Egypt; and I will also surely bring thee up again” (Genesis 46:3).

On the last morning she was walking near the tents and huts of the desert dwellers, when in a lonely corner behind a wall she came upon a little golden-yellow flower, growing all alone. An old pipe was connected with a water tank. In the pipe was one tiny hole through which came an occasional drop of water. Where the drops fell one by one, there grew the little golden flower, though where the seed had come from, Much-Afraid could not imagine, for there were no birds anywhere and no other growing things.

She stopped over the lonely, lovely little golden face, lifted up so hopefully and so bravely to the feeble drip, and cried out softly, “What is your name, little flower, for I never saw one like you before?”

The tiny plant answered at once in a tone as golden as itself, “Behold me! My name is Acceptance-with-Joy.”

Much-Afraid thought of the things which she had seen in the desert: the threshing-floor and the whirring wheel and the fiery furnace. Somehow the answer of the little golden flower which grew all alone in the waste of the desert stole into her heart and echoed there faintly but sweetly, filling her with comfort.

She said to herself, “He has brought me here when I did not want to come for his own purpose. I, too, will look up into his face and say, ‘Behold me! I am thy little handmaiden Acceptance-with-Joy.’” (pp. 80-91)

I don’t know how many of you have read this classic book, but it is a stunningly beautiful allegory of the journey of Much-Afraid—the story’s main character who was not only crippled with fear but with some physical malformations—from the Valley of Humiliation where she lives to the ‘High Places’ and the anticipated destination of the Kingdom of Love. In order to make the pilgrimage to the High Places where the Shepherd longs to take her, Much-Afraid must make the decision to leave what she knows behind her and venture into the unknown; the Shepherd will not, and cannot, force her.

When Much-Afraid finally summons the courage to leave the valley and her family: Craven Fear, Resentment, Bitterness, Self-Pity and Pride, the Shepherd assigns two hand-picked guides to travel with her: Sorrow and Suffering. It is at this point, early on in the story, that Much-Afraid’s journey begins. I will not give away anymore of the story but will share a glimpse into some of the lands through which she will have to travel: the Desert (Egypt), the Great Precipice, and the Forests of Danger and Tribulation.

As I was reading through Much-Afraid’s reaction to facing the desert (the passage with which I began this article), I was filled with the overwhelming sense that the words which were speaking volumes to my heart were also very much needed by many who read Destiny In Bloom.

Although we are surrounded this time of year with an ever-present reminder of the season of joy we celebrate—the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ—it does not mean that every heart is merry. On the contrary, it is because of this time of year that many who are burdened feel as if their weight has doubled, and it is for them this passage was illuminated.

Further into Much-Afraid’s journey, the Shepherd speaks to her as she lays down her will upon a small altar she had made of sand and stones, “This further delay is not unto death, but for the glory of God; that the son of God may be glorified” (John 11). 

Reading this, I was filled with a sense of promise that Jesus was looking into those hearts that are hurting and wooing them who need to be comforted, encouraged and reignited with the flame of hope.

As Much-Afraid traveled out of the desert and resumed her journey to the High Places, the story continued in this way:

…for something had happened in the wilderness which had left a mark upon her for the rest of her life. It was an inner and secret mark, and no one would have noticed any difference outwardly, but all the same, a deep inner change had taken place. She did not understand how it had happened, but what the Shepherd had said had come to pass in herself, for those who go down into the furnace of Egypt and find there the flower of Acceptance come up changed and with the stamp of royalty upon them. It is true that Much-Afraid did not feel at all royal, and certainly did not as yet look it. Nevertheless, she had been stamped with the mark and would never be the same.

Therefore, though she went with Sorrow and Suffering day after day along the shore of the great sea of Loneliness, she did not go cringingly or complainingly. Indeed, gradually an impossible thing seemed to be happening. A new kind of joy was springing up in her heart, and she began to find herself noticing beauties in the landscape of which until then she had been quite unconscious. (pp. 94-95)

In various seasons of our lives, we all face heartache, trials, sorrow and suffering; and for some, this season holds more for you than others. What was lit in my heart, as I read about Much-Afraid’s journey into and through the desert, was a strong desire to encourage those who are walking in that season right now. My hope is that the words spoken by the Shepherd to Much-Afraid will resonate as Jesus speaking to you. It is the voice of our Savior—our tender, compassionate and loving Shepherd—that heals our heartache and makes light our burdens.

The story of Much-Afraid does not end with her being left in the lowlands but unwinds with her transformation, both spiritually and physically. In reading this book, again, Jesus has revealed to me a seed of fear that is an obstacle in my own transformation. I have chosen to travel with Much-Afraid because, just like her, my desire is for the High Places.

“The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds’ feet, and he will make me walk upon nine high places.” Habakkuk 3:19

“But He knows the way that I take [He has concern for it, appreciates, and pays attention to it]. When He has tried me, I shall come forth as refined gold [pure and luminous].” (Job 23:10)

If you have never read the story of Much-Afraid, I encourage you to do so. We all have something in us that requires the loving touch and transformation of our Savior. This book will take you on a beautifully descriptive journey and may just show you something about yourself and Jesus that you’ve never seen before.

Conquering Joy (November's DIB Article)

For the past few years when Christmas ends and the new year is just around the corner, I have made it a point to sit down with God and ask Him to reveal His focus for me for the coming year. This January, instead of filling my heart with a list of things to accomplish, which speaks directly into my passion for To-Do’s, He changed things up and gave me just four words and a scripture:

JOY.PEACE.HOPE.GLORY.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. ~ Romans 15:13

As the year has unfolded, God has been faithful to reveal to me the reasons for each chosen word; and I have been careful to record these bits of revelation so that when 2010 comes to an end, I will be able to look back and see God’s fingerprints all over this year.

Near the end of June, as I was consolidating various online blogs into one, clean, organized blog, a random title popped into my head. Mind you, I wasn’t looking to change the name of my blog, but apparently God had a different plan. “Conquering Joy” are the two words that took hold of my heart and wouldn’t let go. So as soon as my new blog was all put together, I sat down and wrote about it:

“At first I thought Conquering Joy was kind of an oxy-moronic title. Did the words really go together? But then I looked up the word conquer and this is what I found:

Conquer: to take possession of by force or authority; to overcome by conquest.

I liked the whole thought of taking possession of joy by authority. JOY is a fruit of the Spirit, but it is also a feeling. I have to choose to live in it, just as I would choose to be content...or not. Yes, the Holy Spirit deposits joy in my life, but He'll never force-feed it to me.

And then I had this thought: God knows that taking possession of joy in every situation in my life has the potential to bring about unspeakable change. Conquering JOY is necessary in moving forward to PEACE. HOPE. & GLORY!”

One morning a couple weeks ago, after a “discussion” with my husband the prior evening, I woke up feeling discouraged, angry and discontent. I was not in a good place and the day ahead of me looked bleak (because of my emotional state). A couple hours into my morning Holy Spirit stopped me in my tracks. Instead of having this hearing experience, I had a thought download. I was to retreat to my closet and not come out until my soul had surrendered. What did that even mean?

Psalm 62 was also a part of this thought download; so I looked it up and verse 5 jumped off the page:

“My soul, wait only upon God and silently submit to Him;

for my hope and expectation are from Him.”

Grabbing my iPod and Bible, I retreated to my closet. Once inside, I just knew that I was supposed to play this new worship song I had found and put it on repeat. The chorus of the song has this line in it:

“I will sing from the overflow of love in my heart.”

During the first run-through I remember thinking, “How am I supposed to sing from the overflow of love in my heart when I’m bitter about last night? Clearly my heart’s not even half-full today. And on my best day, God, I still don’t know that there’s any overflow. I mean, you know the things I struggle with. How can a heart overflow with love when sin still resides?” I heard no response.

After five times through the song I asked, “What exactly is supposed to be happening, God?” No answer. The sixth and seventh time around? Still nothing. Then it happened. The reason for my retreat began to unravel.

In the midst of singing the chorus – for the 8^th time – the presence of God consumed the oxygen to the point where I felt like I was breathing in the Holy Spirit instead of air. It was that thick; like the heaviness of humidity before a storm rolls in. In an instant, the song I had simply been singing became worship; the lyrics transformed from words into praise. And more knowing was poured out.

“The overflow you question comes from Jesus alone. That capacity for love that you don’t possess on your best day in the flesh is waiting to be poured into you in His presence.”

I was overwhelmed. Tears ran down my face. And the knowing continued.

Before I walked into my closet I didn’t understand the assignment of “not coming out until my soul had surrendered”, but I obeyed what I knew I was asked to do … I played that worship song over and over and over again.

What I learned is that if I will take the time and make my soul wait on God alone, then His presence that comes in patient waiting will change my perspective. The fleshly emotions that dominated my heart and thoughts will be consumed by the overwhelming love that accompanies the presence of Jesus, because in the presence of that kind of joy-producing love, no heart can hold onto selfish motives.

In Psalm 16 – my favorite Psalm – David writes: “I experience absolute joy in Your presence.” (vs. 11)

In Acts 2:28 this verse is referenced and written this way: “You will enrapture me - diffusing my soul with joy - with and in Your presence."

Conquering Joy was fully realized in my closet that morning. When I wrote out my thoughts back in June, I was focused on the action of choice alone. I believed that all I had to do was choose joy in order to conquer my circumstances. It sounded good then, but now I understand that my thought was incomplete.

God showed me that what I choose is critical to joy being conquered. I don’t just decide to be joyful and “voila” all my nasty emotions are gone and I’m tiptoeing through the tulips of life. I must choose for “my soul to wait only upon God and silently submit to Him” (Psalm 62:5), so that “He can enrapture me – diffusing my soul with joy – with and in His presence.” (Acts 2:28) And by “filling me with all joy and peace as I trust in Him, I will overflow with hope (and love) by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

That morning discontent, anger and discouragement were conquered by love and replaced with joy. On any given day our circumstances have the opportunity to leave us burdened with a range of joy-stealing emotions: from bitterness and envy to jealousy and greed; from insecurity and helplessness to pride, fear and loneliness. But God has given us a path to daily freedom. Choice is a powerful tool in our spiritual arsenal; one that has the capacity to change our perspective day in and day out, moment by moment … if we will just make a choice to surrender our souls to Him and wait on His presence.

“Jesus, I pray the truth of who you are and the powerful love that your presence brings will be made to known to each reader today. That surrender becomes a sweet word on our lips and an easy act of our souls as we continuously discover how to conquer joy through your authority.”

Choose Life

2009 was a year where my husband and I experienced some of the greatest lows followed by some mountaintop highs. In August, after months of searching, God opened a door to a great job for my husband when self-employment no longer was feasible. And come September, after losing our house to foreclosure, God moved us into another home.

Autumn came and went without a glitch, and winter hit in December like a raging bull in a china shop; and continued its assault right through February. And then spring rolled in and it was like my husband and I awoke in March from a six-month slumber; suddenly aware that we weren’t connected anymore like we had been. Between a new home and a new job, we had gone through some pretty significant changes. All the routines we had had when Anthony worked from home had been turned upside down and it became clear that while neither of was paying attention, our priorities had shifted.

At the end of March, I made the decision to ask for a three month sabbatical from writing for Destiny In Bloom because I knew I had hit a wall spiritually and emotionally and needed a radical perspective shift.

Throughout the next few months, God richly deposited His wisdom into my life in three main areas: Identity, Marriage and Dreams. Today, my focus is marriage. I wanted to share with you just a few of the most important things I learned because I don’t believe I’m the only one who has walked through, or is currently struggling in, a difficult season in their marriage.

Lesson #1: Priorities Matter

A new life schedule had knocked us out of our routine and we didn’t do a good job making sure the proper priorities stayed in order. When Anthony worked from home, we had all the time in the world to talk about whatever was going on, so we kind of took time for granted. Now we faced days where time felt like it moved quicker than a New York minute and free hours of conversation turned into moments we had to purposely grab. We both allowed other priorities to swallow up the time we could have used for each other, and when your marriage takes a back seat to anything other than your relationship with God, one can’t expect a good outcome.

Lesson #2: Burn Out

When life brings about big changes, responsibilities can shift. Between his commute and work hours, Anthony wasn’t available for the things we had partnered in before. It’s not his fault; it’s just the way our lives were altered. I found myself needing to take on more of the chauffeuring assignments and the nighttime schedule of youth groups, baseball practices and other kid-friendly time demands went from feeling carefree to cumbersome. I reached my own mini-burn out and instead of being honest about it and seeking change, I just allowed myself to grow resentful. You may be there, too.

Have the time demands of home schooling your kids grown too much for you? Maybe it’s time to pray about public school.

Do you desire an outlet for other purposes God has placed on your heart but can’t find free time? Pray about the option of putting your younger ones in pre-school a couple hours a day or week.

Or maybe you’re a wife who’s struggling with a husband whose job demands way too much of his time and you’re resenting the position of priority it’s taken. Be honest with your husband about your concerns. Maybe it’s time to seek God as a couple about a possible employment change or a way to reduce his current hours. God’s capable of anything!

Remember, although you may be blessed with the awesome gift of children, they are never to take the #1 or #2 priority position in our lives as women and wives. If you’re investing all your time and energy into the kids and have nothing left over for God and your husband, it’s time for a change.

Lesson #3: The Love/Like Factor

I know wives and husbands who are looking at their respective spouses and thinking, “I just don’t love him/her like I used to.” Or, “My heart’s just not it in anymore.” Or, “I don’t know if I ever really loved him/her.”

This I know: Love is a fickle thing because we think it’s what we’re feeling and not what we’re doing. Love is not about what my heart feels on any given day; it’s the action that tied the bow on my wedding day vows.

On bad days, you may find yourself thinking, “I don’t even know if I like you, let alone love you.” I know because I have. (Yep, that’s real, right there.) But in this journey, God graciously showed me that Love is not about feelings and Like, well, it’s purely circumstantial. Love is about commitment; and today’s feelings, or tomorrow’s circumstances, do not release me from the covenant I made to my God and my husband the day I said, “I Do.”

Lesson #4: Seasons Change

I fully understand that life is made up of seasons - the better and worse, the richer and poorer, the sickness and health - and that with all seasons, this one too shall pass. But God also taught me that it’s not about just waiting out a season and hoping it will pass one day; it’s about what I do in that season that will determine when I move into the next one. I cannot NOT like where my marriage is now and do nothing but go to sleep and wake up every day and expect that things will change.

So, now what?

Purposefully re-engage in the re-building of your marriage… step-by-step, bit-by-bit.

#1: Surrender your bruised heart to God and allow his grace and mercy to begin healing you, both of you. Read every scripture you can on marriage, grace, mercy and love. Daily wash yourself in the Word and begin to allow the fruit of the Spirit to be an extension cord connected directly to your spouse’s heart.

#2: Get back on the prayer wagon! Prayer has an amazing way of keeping our hearts humble before our God and our spouse. Don’t just pray individually but commit to praying together. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Be real. Let prayer be the most prominent display of your heart, and don’t forget to use it to lift each other up. (It’s not just a tool to re-work your spouse. J)

#3: Get some Christian counseling for necessary perspective. If you can’t afford it, Jimmy and Karen Evans of Marriage Today offer a free online resource called The Quest. We’re walking through this 10-week program now and we’re committed to coming out stronger and healthier on the other side.

#4: Have godly influences that you can share with openly and honestly. Not just any friend, but a godly, Christian person who will protect your heart while encouraging you in God’s word and God’s ways. (You can’t miss the emphasis of God and Godly!)

#5: Purpose to re-invest in your marriage by enjoying each other’s company. Take time to have fun because it’s such a necessary factor in relationships. Find things to do that will make you laugh because it really is chicken soup for the soul. Bring light-heartedness back to your marriage!

#6: Never rest on your laurels. Great marriages don’t stay great simply because they’re in a great season. The marriages you admire are admirable because the husband and wife are daily engaged in what makes them tick and what makes them stronger. Have you ever watched a marriage fall apart after 10 or more years and wondered why? Marriage requires work during the rough patches and in the best of times.

#7: Keep HOPE alive! It’s easy to believe during the low times that THIS – where you are right now – is as good as your marriage will ever get, but it’s a lie straight from the pit of hell. Our enemy will do his best to steal your hope, making it seem impossible to move forward or change. Don’t let him!

“Hope is patience with the lamp lit”. (Tertullian)

If you’re in a place where you’re questioning what’s left of your marriage; if it’s worth the effort anymore; if anything can really change; or if maybe there’s just something better out there for you… STOP, take some deep, cleansing breaths and do just the first thing listed in “So, now what?”: Surrender your bruised (or broken) heart to Jesus. There are no time limits on healing. There are no boundaries on how much hurt can be healed. There are no set rules you have to follow. Just let grace and mercy have their tender way with you and allow the untainted love of Jesus to heal your heart, piece by broken piece; and then ask the Holy Spirit to guide your next step. And remember that God always give us the choice of life or death.

I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. And love God, your God, listening obediently to him, firmly embracing him. Oh yes, he is life itself… Deuteronomy 30:19 (The Message)

I’m choosing life and holding on for the ride. I’m praying that you will do the same!

If you want more information on outstanding marital resources, go to Marriage Today at www.marriagetoday.org. You can also visit The Quest at www.quest.marriagetoday.com.

Our Pastor, Robert Morris, and his wife, Debbie, wrote a great book on marriage, The Blessed Marriage. It’s an easy but rich read. You can purchase that book through Gateway’s online store at http://gatewaypeople.com/store.

Through HIS Creation

Psalm 19:1 The heavens are telling the glory of God; and the firmament proclaims his handiwork.

Today was, simply put, a gorgeous day. I trekked out to the store at 10am after realizing we had but 3 full squares of toilet paper left in this entire house - eek - and was immediately captured by God's presence in full bloom through His creation. Between the cool morning breeze, the birds that literally couldn't stop singing and the sunshine that delivered just enough heat to warm my soul but not enough to make me sweat, my heart couldn't stop smiling. I rolled down the windows of my SUV and breathed in deeply. The overwhelming heaviness of last week's all-consuming humidity had lifted and was replaced by the fragrance of fresh cut grass. [THIS] is the definition of a perfect spring day.

With toilet paper shopping completed, I took a quick detour down Central to my nearest Starbucks. Somehow, for me, Starbucks and Sunshine make such perfect companions. So, I took the $2 that was left over from our family trip to see Earth and purchased my Iced Grande Americano, all ice, no water please. After a dash of Splenda and a bit of Half & Half, I was back in the car and on my way home... hoping that in the time that it took to me to fulfill my Starbucks and Sunshine quest, no one at home needed to visit the bathroom.

With coffee in hand, I drove home and found myself overwhelmed to tears by the beauty of this day. Anyone who knows me knows that the words "tears" and "Babs" don't really go together. I'm a pretty practical person [ooh, i just illiterated] and have never been one known to wear my heart on my sleeve. Not that I have anything against heart-sleeves, it's just not how God made me. Something has to really move my soul [or catch me off guard] to bring me to tears. I guess this morning God did both. He not only consumed my soul with the absolute perfection of His creation, He caught me off guard with the capacity for my heart to recognize Him from the moment my garage door opened and His creation met me face-to-face.

Reaching my destination of home, I went straight to my children and told them to pack up their home school stuff because we were schooling "al fresco" style at the park today. I then found my husband in his office so I could share with him my excitement over God's creation. As I looked out his windows into the backyard, I saw a beautiful blue bird perched on the top of our fence. Yesterday, I had discovered this same bird settled on the bird bath, looking into it and thinking [as I imagined it would], "Isn't there supposed to be water in this thing?" Ooh, I had let this poor bird down by teasing it with an empty bird bath. It's like sending kids out to the backyard with their swim suits on only to discover that the pool was never filled. Tomorrow I am going to fill that concrete bird bath. It's always been an eye-sore to me because I've never liked the bulky aspect of it, but my perspective has been changed.

The other day, as I was driving Alec home from a baseball game and was stopped at a light, I watched a bird crazily flutter about in a small puddle left by the rainfall from the previous day. I giggled as I watched it dip its head into this mini bird pool over and over again and shake its tailfeathers as the water rolled down its back. It reminded me of the days when I would watch my kids [when they were younger] pitch themselves repeatedly onto the yellow Slip 'N' Slide and laugh as the holes on the side of the mat spewed streams of water at them.

God has given us creation in order for us to see Him in it; whether its robin's egg blue skies, cotton ball clouds, a bird's lullaby or the sound of our childrens' laughter. It's all created by Him so He could share it with us.

Today, God reached out and touched me through His creation, and I was changed [today] because of it.